on track and happy

So I did indeed find and buy a digital scale at Walmart that goes up to 400 pounds. I think it cost 34.98+tax. It saves user info for up to 4 people, not bmi, hydration somethin' or other, and bone mass or anything high tech like one that was about $10 more. I just wanted something that would give me an accurate reading...okay, "accurate". I " " it because when I got it all set up (it came with batteries..ooo) and used it it gave me 3 different weights. The one I'm going with is still good. a little over 5 pounds lost (instead of the first reading which was a lil over 6) since I saw my doctor back in May which was pretty much 3 weeks ago. I'd decided to make another try at losing weight a couple or so days before my appointment. I'd had about 3 or so months to go back to that appointment since my last one but I had not tried so I KNEW I was gonna get it with both barrels!

Welp, I was 386.1 or .8, I didnt write it down. However, a few minutes ago, my weight was 381.8.


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

so yeah, I'm quite happy! Feeling pretty nice about that loss. So now, IF I'D JUST ADD THE EXERCISE TO THE SCHEDULE....wow. That loss is with walking only and not much more added to my daily routine than usual. I've added only a little bit more walking per day. I still have my dumbbells from years back and actually a weight set now that I remember it. Soooooooo, yeah, almost about 2 pounds a week. Average. Very content. Tomorrow begins Week 4.


So, bring on WEEK FOUR, LOSE SOME MORE!

light and easy breezy

the title is how I'm feeling. I'm watching my son dance to the credits music for Ghostbusters 2!! this is entertainment!!! especially since it's midnight and my 3-year-old son will NOT GO TO SLEEP!!! sigh.

well, i had a chicken salad sandwich a lil later than I should have but I figure it's better than what the alternative would have been a few weeks ago! While I was out today alone, I passed up so many restaurants and drive-thrus and that lil voice in me that says, hey, go get such-n-such had to be repressed and ignored. Glad to say, while I was out for about 5 hours before I returned home I didn't eat again after breakfast until I was back at home. Held out, ignored the mini-urges. It's amazing..AMAAAAAZING..how my mind can quickly forget that I'm trying to lose weight and quickly fall into hey, you're alone, you had to take a day off work so no one is at home when you return, you could just buy a crapload of crap food, get home, wallow in your own food and after-pity, and toss the evidence out into the trash cans outside. Yeah, I've done all of that before and I for the first time in my life I'm really aware of the fact that I am having to remind myself and tell myself NO, you'll EAT WHEN YOU GET HOME! YOU WILL ONLY EAT AT HOME FOOD YOU HAVE PREPARED YOURSELF!

Today, I'm proud of myself. I may have spent a bit too much money while I was out enjoying not having to worry about if my mom is stressed watching my son while I'm away from home and I need to get that in check SUPER FAST, like 10 years ago!! Okay, yeah, anyway, I'm trying to girly up my wardrobe again. That's how I know I'm doing a good job at making better choices...when I actually want to dress like I'm happy with my appearance. I'm not, but I know I'm taking steps to get there. And it's summer ...almost...despite what this doggone weather is doing I mean, we're a couple of weeks from summer and it was in the 50s during the day this week!!!...Anyway, I'm already heavy...I hate having full belly in summer heat so I tend to eat a bit lighter anyway unless I know I'm not going out (say, I'm visiting my bro out of town and we tend to sloth around) but this summer, I just don't think I'm going to be binging. Whether I'm working or not, I'm going to have to use my days wisely. Be active. Drive to the track or just to out and walk the blocks while my son is still in daycare school. He'll be in the official Pre-K program this fall. welp, sleep calls...kinda....it's been calling...I've been ignoring it.

slow typing to remain quiet so i don't disturb the girls taking their exam...but...

why do students look on one another's paper for answers? I've found that when grading these papers, they all have the same answers wrooooooooooong! Had they just done their own work, they may have surprise themselves and gotten the work correct. or the two who's final exams I just confiscated because they didn't think I was watching the class so one decides to write a note to the other and they're shocked that I noticed it. so now, they only get points for the incomplete work submitted. Neither looks like it's even 'D' work. Maybe it's best that I do leave and use my talents somewhere else. And please don't think you're gonna look on the other girl's paper to finish writing your answers and I won't notice that either. Yeah, see aforementioned comment about using other's answers. And don't talk because the rule still applies that I take a point from your exam for every time I hear your mouth once you've received it. yeah, you're already up to 3...4 points. what's so hard about sitting and being quiet? are you 3? My son is 3 and can't be still or be quiet...but...HE'S THREE!! You're how old? And still a freshman or sophomore? Probably because you just CAN'T....SHUT....UP!!!!! For shame. Had she just sat at the empty table, she's still have her exam to do. oh well.


I feel light today...well, light-ish. If I keep up the good work I'll be cool. I have black beans soaking in water to boil when I get home to add to the Taco casserole/pie for dinner. I think I'm going to do two things differently. Use shredded chicken instead of ground turkey, and tear or slice the tortillas instead of layering them whole. I think that will make for easier serving of smaller portions instead of trying to slice more than 6-8 slices which, if it's not cold and firm thus easier to slice (ie, slicing it soon after it is made) will just make a mess of it all. Will have lettuce and tomato with it and....water I guess, haven't really thought too much on the beverage. Maybe a decaf, skim, iced coffee? mocha? I've never made those so at home so . . . yeah, water sounds good. I think a smoothee will be too heavy for the meal. even with the skim milk I use. ooooh, a fruit fizzie...frozen fruit, splenda, and sodium-free club soda.

oooooweee!

So as I was looking at my sideview in the potty bathroom at work I was wondering..do I look a lil smaller? Well, it may have been the shirt or perhaps I've lost enough weight to show a difference? When I went to pick up my son from daycare school, the teacher there asked if I was dieting because she could tell. She said as I was walking back to my van after dropping him off this morning she was like, ooooo she's losing weight! I need to lose weight in my feet and legs so my feet and ankles will stop swelling up a bit when I wear my cute new wedges shoes! If I didn't say it before, I didn't think I'd like wedges, but well, here I am now with 3 pairs of tall wedge heeled shoes and one pair low wedge heeled shoes. :D I'm at that point again where I'm wanting to dress up a lil bit more.

Despite finding out today from the boss that the closing of my position at school at been completed and while she thinks she'll be able to get it back open and to not sign anything until I know for certain it won't be reopened, I can't wait. I have to apply, and then I'll be in a bind if I'm offered a position. On the one hand, I like my current position. On the other, if my position is reopened, what happens if either it or the entire school (BIG BIG IF, don't wanna speak life anything anything) is closed after 09-10? Then I'm right along with the crowd looking for a new position. All I know is I need to work. I have to work. I guess I wanna work ;), and I'd rather teach as my work. Despite all of that, I'm good. Not feeling horrible. Just sleepy...and kinda anxious. So yeah, it's sleepy time.

Week 3, Getting back to Me.

So yeah, I've been away from bloggin for too many days. What has happened in those days? I actually attended a party. I didn't feel tooooooo socially awkward because apparently texting during a party or any social gathering has become the new thing!! I found that I wasn't the only person staring at a cell phone or some other mobile device sending a text, checking an email, tweeting, updating a Facebook status...how sad. The social scene, for that, is DEAD! So I don't feel so outta place. I did still feel like the fattest thing in the room with all eyes on me...however, they weren't, and those that were probably could be neither here or there about my size. So yeah, doesn't matter today.

Last week I'm going to chalk up to too much meat and cake. Horrible week, horrible choices, but I think I sort of redeemed myself Saturday? Not sure. I need to figure out what to have for dinner this week so I won't be tempted to order out/in whatever you call it. I'm glad to say that I've gone another week with NO FAST FOOD! Not only just fast food, but no restaurant food at all. Feeling good about that. We did grocery shopping yesterday so I'm restocked on oranges, apples, and YES, this week is Chicken Salad week again! Made a big ol' 5 gallon ice cream bucket full of it. This time I have celery and eggs in the same batch. Got my mom to understand that if she wants to help me use up eggs, just boil them. no more cake. Had to tell her that if I had willpower to not eat all the cake or more than a small slice, then I wouldn't be almost 400 pounds right now! The point is I DON'T have that willpower that others have to stay the course and see past a month or so. I'm just trying to make it to the end of the day..as in 24 hours.. without slipping up. I say 24 hours because I could easily wake up during the night and munch on something or chug a glass of pop if it's in the house. luckily for me the only thing I want during the night most times is just water. i'm too doggone sleepy to ruin my sleep cycle with food! however, summer and summer break is fastly approaching..

Speaking of summer, I still have like 3 long papers to write for my online grad courses that I haven't even started the reading for. I requested an extention in both classes and they were approved however, it still does me no good because I really need the summer and the break from work it gives me to focus those hours of the weekdays to working on those papers. I can't really do it while I'm at work. For starters..it's like 66 degrees outside and probably humid, and yet it feels like friggin' 50 or so in this building! I seriously can't concentrate when my body temp is too cold! I can deal with warm and too warm, even hot, but not cold when I'm about to start shivering. I would open the window to let some warm ar in but the sun is not on this side of the building. So yeah, the building temp regulation SUCKS!!! no reason for the temp outside to be in the 30s and yet the vents are blowing out cool air, no air at all, or the air warms up around 2:04 when the students leave for the day and I'm only in my classroom for 41 more minutes tops!!! oy.

Anyway, I'm going to think of something to do with all these grains and legumes I have. I have lentils, black beans, black eye peas, great white northerns and pinto beans (tooo many of those and I don't really care for pintos) red beans, and a bean soup mix. Also I have brown rice .....and whole wheat pastas. I know the basic recipes for these things . . . like I have some soy "meat" crumble that I stir fry to heat through and then add that to some cooked lentils to make a lentil "dirty rice" thing. The black beans I've added with whole kernel canned corn (rinsed off) and added those to a taco bake with ground turkey, cheese, salsa, and layered flour tortillas. I haven't made that in a while...next time I make it, I'll probably skip the turkey and get the protein from the means and cheese. The red beans...red beans and brown rice. I made some white chicken chili with the great white northerns a while ago, around Thanksgiving, during my last weightloss attempt. The black eye peas..please, I'd eat those bad boys dry if it wouldn't crack my teeth!! I LOVE 'EM!

I'm want different recipes and I was looking online for some but, well, once I get into Facebook land it's pretty much over. I forget everything else I'd planned to do!! I'd make a list to remind me but...I forget to make the list! That's why I tell my students to work on their memories now and manage their time better now because it doesn't get easier when you're grown!!

Welp, it's lunch time so I'm gonna bring my grub back to the classroom cuz I know I'll probably have some girls running in trying to finish their work! Tomorrow is the final exam and then that's it. I put my grades in Wednesday at the latest and then zoof....

Feelin' fine.

Just waiting out this week cuz I'm like super exhausted cuz ...I'm...yeah...I'm going through what you dudes out there never will go through! Need to ask the doc about a prescription for Iron pills....I don't think I'm getting enough from these multivitamins.

that is all.

thanks for stopping by.

sorry not so in-depth.

Still love ya though!

whoops

too much dinner. too much cake...one slice was too much...I had like...I think 3. I could have just not posted that or lied about it to you good people...but why lie? I'll still know the truth. So, I know I need to just stay away from all the foods that will tempt me to gorge! I think I had too light of a lunch and knowing there was bbq (mediocre or not, bbq is bbq!!) waiting at home I got a lil' excited. What did I have besides too much cake...a bit too much meat and I think the sides...one or two could have been omitted.....half a bone-in chicken breast, like 3 or 4 spare rib bones, a 6-7" boiled corn on the cob, about 3/4 cup or so of cole slaw, about a cup of pasta tuna salad, and like 2/3 or 3/4 cup of cucumber-tomato-onion salad. And a generous cup of sugar-free punch.


I'm sleepy right now but there are a couple of things I need to get done first. soooo sleeeeeppyyyyy.

The day after hell~

I should have done the grilling on Saturday so I would have had time to wash my hair and not come to work with a 'fro smelling like smoke! ugh! I also wouldn't be so tired from having done so much the day before work. We would have eaten at a more reasonable dinner hour and not 7pm! The grills could have cooled off more efficiently rather than my bro having to dump coals on the ground and hose them at dusk. I probably would have woken up a lot earlier than I did yesterday because I was"dreading" the work ahead of me. Had I done the grilling on Saturday I would have had a gorgeous day to do it and not the rainy hell we had to compete with yesterday. I couldn't get the grills started in enough time and I forgot to soak the wood chips so most of them burned out before they had a chance to smoke the meats.

In my opinion the meal was subpar. It wasn't what I was expecting...but enough of that.

I didn't PIG OUT and considering that I didn't have much to eat before or during the cooking (Special K and skim milk for breakfast, a fruit smoothie with skim milk and frozen fruits for lunch) I could have very easily justified gorging! I just wasn't feeling the dinner. It wasn't my best work but no one else was complaining. I think food almost tastes best when you're not the one cooking it. I'll try to do smoking again in the future and I am in the market for a better, bigger bbq grill and I need to see what parts are missing for this smoker my dad acquired a year or so before he died but never used. However, I can't make such a big investment just yet because I must know with absolute certainty that I will have a job next school year. I'm confident that my position will not be cut by the board because art is a requirement. I'm not trying to look around the building to see who else could be cut before me because that seems like headhunting but I probably should to get a bit of perspective on it.

But, I know I need to let it go and let God work it out for me. If my position is cut...then I know I need to sign up to be a Cadre Sub within 30 days and GOD HELP ME being a sub!! I really need to be in charge of my own class because I know the hell these kids put subs through! I maybe leave the City and trying for a position in a suburb or an entirely different county...which means moving...which I can't really afford right now ...even though I really need to have a place for just me and my son so all that "outside noise" can be remedied...maybe.

I'm just wishing the sun would make another appearance. I don't get it. Is it mourning weather? Is that why just about EVERY MEMORIAL DAY I can remember, it has rained???

ONE WEEK BEHIND ME!

I'll have to look in my archives and see if I've used this title before since I started to type One and this is what popped up as something that had previously been typed in that field. Regardless, I FEEL FABULOUS about my success for this past week of starting my better eating again! There were two occasions (tues. and fri. evenings) where I could have very quickly fall off the wagon due to the food that was provided at these small receptions. I'm VERY happy about that. So, I just need to add a lot more exercise into my days. With all of that, I should be able to fit into this black dress hanging on the door in November for my lil "look what I've accomplished" celebration I plan to have. And won't it be so nice to be able to shop inside of stores for my clothes instead of having to order my larger sizes online? There ARE stores where I can shop right now but the clothes are a lil snug but even after I drop the pounds they're still so expensive! I'd like to be able to get some clothes at Walmart again. A "new favorite" even though I haven't bought a thing from them yet, is Old Navy. They have my size online but not in the stores. I want to oooo la la of shopping in the store and walking out with my merchandise! That reminds me, I need to make that list don't I? Not avoiding it, just forgetting to.

AAAaaaah, so yesterday I was awake for so long that I had some trail mix but I only had half my usual serving..and a glass of skim milk.

Today was another pretty lazy day aside from going out early this morning to water all the container plants, new young shrubs and all the rose bushes. I'm sure once we have the new fence installed I'll plant some more roses! However, if I ever get to move out of here and get my own house, all of those plants I put my sweat (and some blood) into to planting and caring for!

Anyway, I have a roaster chicken and fryer chicken marinating in jerk seasoning in the fridge overnight. I made some pasta w/tuna and a tomato-cucumber-onion salad. I'm not sure if I'm going to make anything else to go with all of that. I do have some old pasta sauce I need to use if it's still good. So maybe I'll make some spaghetti. Ah, we need to get a cabbage and some carrots for the slaw! Diet or not, gotta have the slaw!!! AAAARGH! better add that to my list...but I don't see a pen. rats. I'm guessing I'll remember it, I do have to go to the store tomorrow anyway to get some wood chunks. Tomorrow outta be fun...we haven't used the bbq grills since like 2005 when we had a bbq for my gran'mother's 88th birthday. It's somewhere on that porch...probably not cleaned since 05! Probably better off just buying a new, larger, Webber grill that has a grill rack that has a flip up section for adding wood or charcoal after the rack has been put back on and the food is already added I'm sure I could find just the rack somewhere though.

Okay, so, we had a late dinner tonight of chicken tacos. They were good and I made only enough for tonight...no leftovers. Sick of leftovers that may never be eaten or that I might gorge on later.

I'm sleepy now which is good because I've got a . . . day ahead of me.

wow, I feel pretty great today! I woke up, being a Saturday and a holiday weekend Saturday at that, around 8am or soon after. I realized that I didn't really eat anything until about 12 or 12:30p.m. I wasn't starving hungry or really very hungry at all but I wanted to feed my son so I had the same that he was asking for...Chicken salad! I also made a banana-strawberry smoothie to share with him and my mom. I had my chicken salad on a slice of whole grain wheat bread. The chicken salad is pretty chunky with onions and celery so I didn't have a veg with it. I need to buy more baby carrots because I ACTUALLY FINISHED to the bags I bought last week!!!! I'm not sure if I had a little help from my mom when she packs her lunches for work but I think that was all me. I finished a healthy food rather than having to toss it out a ...uh oh...forgot about the lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers in there. I haven't opened the lettuce head yet so it should be good and it's only been a week today so I'm hoping everything is still "kosher".

Me and the boy went down for a nap and awoke around 5:30 or 6pm. A lil after we had the same lunch that we had for..I guess you'd call that brunch..or maybe that was lunch and this 2nd meal was dinner?? We ate again around 9pm... I know it was too late for me to eat but I had a leftover small portion of salmon and veggies from yesterday (no more brown rice pilaf...good, can move on or make a fresh, smaller batch) and had a lil bowl of Kix and milk.

So right now I'm sitting awake watching digital tv channels!! I bought a new antenna (a lil think, wings-looking flat model) and so now the converter box works. yay! this channel named Create has been showing BBQ based cooking shows in honor of Memorial Day. I'm hooked!! Need to sleep before I get hungry but I doubt that'll happen and if I do, I just grab a lil bit of my homemade trailmix. Plus I've got a jug of water next to me so I'm good.

Today, hunger-wise, was a good day. I don't think I was using many calories though since I wasn't out and about. just making light housework out of what is in acutality some really big messes to clean up around here. I'm just getting started though!