The day after hell~

I should have done the grilling on Saturday so I would have had time to wash my hair and not come to work with a 'fro smelling like smoke! ugh! I also wouldn't be so tired from having done so much the day before work. We would have eaten at a more reasonable dinner hour and not 7pm! The grills could have cooled off more efficiently rather than my bro having to dump coals on the ground and hose them at dusk. I probably would have woken up a lot earlier than I did yesterday because I was"dreading" the work ahead of me. Had I done the grilling on Saturday I would have had a gorgeous day to do it and not the rainy hell we had to compete with yesterday. I couldn't get the grills started in enough time and I forgot to soak the wood chips so most of them burned out before they had a chance to smoke the meats.

In my opinion the meal was subpar. It wasn't what I was expecting...but enough of that.

I didn't PIG OUT and considering that I didn't have much to eat before or during the cooking (Special K and skim milk for breakfast, a fruit smoothie with skim milk and frozen fruits for lunch) I could have very easily justified gorging! I just wasn't feeling the dinner. It wasn't my best work but no one else was complaining. I think food almost tastes best when you're not the one cooking it. I'll try to do smoking again in the future and I am in the market for a better, bigger bbq grill and I need to see what parts are missing for this smoker my dad acquired a year or so before he died but never used. However, I can't make such a big investment just yet because I must know with absolute certainty that I will have a job next school year. I'm confident that my position will not be cut by the board because art is a requirement. I'm not trying to look around the building to see who else could be cut before me because that seems like headhunting but I probably should to get a bit of perspective on it.

But, I know I need to let it go and let God work it out for me. If my position is cut...then I know I need to sign up to be a Cadre Sub within 30 days and GOD HELP ME being a sub!! I really need to be in charge of my own class because I know the hell these kids put subs through! I maybe leave the City and trying for a position in a suburb or an entirely different county...which means moving...which I can't really afford right now ...even though I really need to have a place for just me and my son so all that "outside noise" can be remedied...maybe.

I'm just wishing the sun would make another appearance. I don't get it. Is it mourning weather? Is that why just about EVERY MEMORIAL DAY I can remember, it has rained???