Is something happening? eh?

So I'm eating an apple right now because I couldn't stand the hunger any longer! Does that mean that my body is transitioning to needing/wanting less calories to function? I didn't grab one or two of those Special K cereal bars (90 cals each but I think they're a lil up in carbs) so I don't have a buffer to eating the apple now and not on the way home later as my encouragement to stopping for food. I've made it two days not only driving home from work but also having to leave back out to go to and from another location WITHOUT hitting up a fast food drive-thru!!! You might not think that's a big deal but for me it is! I even made it walking into Jewel across from work yesterday to get some green tea bags to keep in the van so I'd always have them at work WITHOUT hitting up their lil chicken wings self-serve kiosk or going to the counter to get them if the kiosk isn't up yet. And to keep from thinking of those lil b@stards I'm gonna change the subject a bit.












Wow, I'm pretty late...I'm just now noticing the shortcuts menu at the bottom of the posting box!! ctrl B, ctrl I, etc.!! duh!
Anyway, I've always tried to makes sure I have like 3-4 pieces of fruit, mostly apples and an orange for lunch, so I'd have an apple to eat on the drive home so I'd have something in my stomach to keep me from stopping for food and to tithe me over while cooking dinner. Well, the two problems with that was sometimes I would ignore, like almost with anger, the apple and just commit myself to getting something at Jewel (not just the wings but a bag of chips and one or two candy bars to go with it) and have that devoured before I even made it to my son's daycare. Or rapidly scan in my head what food stop is on the way, usually McDonalds or Wendy's and thinking of what I'd get before I've even left the parking lot at work. To go further with that one I'd tell myself that if I hit up the McDonald's right off the expressway then I'd have more time to eat it before I got to my son's daycare then home so hell, why not get a lil extra? Pretty sad. QUITE SAD!!! That reminds me I still need to try and make this appointment before this referral expires. ugh, the major con of having HMO!

So, I don't know if I'm gonna need to hit up Jewel for some low fat/low cal/low carb bar to help me with this hunger I'm having or not. Probably not..I've been drinking water and had a travel mug of green tea (plain :D) so it might not even be hunger but just my stomach in a wee bit of adjustment discomfort. Speaking of bars, I keep forgetting to try and get the, or as many of the, ingredients that make up those so-called filler bars. I can' t think of a name but their the bars (and one doc developed a cookie) that's supposed to either take the place of an entire meal or you eat it like 30 minutes before your next meal and it'll fill up your stomach so much that you might not eat as much or any of your meal at all! I've almost bought the bars a couple of times but stopped short and decided to read the ingredients. They usually include puffed wheat or brown rice, barley, oats, honey, etc. You know, basically breakfast cereal drizzled with a lil bit of honey in a bowl with the milk you'd probably drink with the bar. Yeah, I'm pretty skeptical of skinny docs who come up with these new weightloss/management dealies. I wonder, if you weren't overweight, obese, or like me MORBIDLY obese before you came up with this "new" thing and you used it and lost, why should I listen to you and trust your product(s)? The same kinda goes for a fat doc who keeps telling you and me that we need to take better care of our health by doing this and that. You wanna ask "is that what YOU did?" But like me, maybe they're big and they're telling others to lose the weight because they KNOW what it's like to live so long with extra weight and other health issues it can promote and they're trying to save you the hell. I remember my dad telling me, probably the year before he died or possibly that year itself, to lose the weight b4 I turn 35 because after then it's hard. paraphrasing of course since he's been dead for 11 years now this month.

Man, I need to get up and walk...eyelids are getting a lil heavy. Maybe I'll eat some of my lunch now and then walk for the next period for a bit outside since it's such a nice day, then eat the rest of it during my lunch period. Hmmm, it IS chicken salad and once I get started with what's in front of me, it's kinda hard for me to stop! I'm still trying people, this isn't magic! At least give me not going for fast food will ya?