I must remember...

...that some people just won't change. Subject A: My mom. Today the classroom teacher who's room she's assigned to gave her a couple of balloons, cards from herself and the kids, and a cake for my mom's retirement. I'm guessing they wanted to do something early with the kids since they wouldn't be there all day on Friday and not at all tomorrow, hence the surprise party at her school. So, naturally the leftover cake is hers so she brought it home. This a day, ONE DAY, after she brought home leftover fried chicken and fries from lunch...and asked me if I wanted some.


Insert frustrated yell here.

I had to tell her, I CAN'T have that, it's fried. Her response, oh I forgot. I'm sorry. okay.

An age of mid 60s, early 80s, 100s, whatever . . . I've been obese my entire life...clearly there's no room for forgetting that your youngest daughter SHOULD NOT be eating fried food, fast food, take out food, whatever!

So I've had to resist the powerful temptation to go in there and have some cake or even OPEN THE BAG to see what kind it is!!!! I want no parts of that! I don't want to see if...I can only guess what kind it is that little kids would want to eat.

Now my sis made an okay point saying that my mom can't totally adjust what she does to accommodate my need to lose weight and not see the uh oh and no no foods she wants to bring home. Too much of a hassle to "hide" the cake downstairs and have to go down there to that fridge every time she wants a piece (we live in a 2 flat with full basement and full attic btw so that's why there's a fridge up and downstairs...2 apartments). However, is it too much for her to remember there are things I need to be doing to change my lifestyle? I mean, every now and then she goes into rants about how I need to watch what I'm eating and I need to exercise and "we gonna walk together, put gran-man in a stroller and take him with us" and then, You want some chicken? WTF?! Besides, right now I'm thinking, she goes down there every day anyway so why not but, not my house, not my rules. However, my sis has never had to consciously try to eat better to lose weight because she has a condition where she's gonna drop weight anyway, most times without even trying.

I really REALLY hate knowing that cake is in there. I'm gonna have to wake up in the night to take a pee cuz I've been drinking water late in the day! I've been strong so far but this is probably similar to how a recovering addict feels when they roommate still drinks, smokes, or does whatever drug they've quit but they can't really afford to move yet. I'm fighting with my mind right now to say YOU DON'T NEED IT.

On top of the cake issue, I'm afraid of what's going to be on the menu for this party tomorrow that I'll be able to actually eat without have to scalp it first. I should probably take my water jug with me. Oh crap, I need to pack my son's bag "to take to work with me since I'm taking him with me" ... that's the cover story I told my mom in case she wanted to call the daycare and they tell her that I never dropped him off or that he's not there, whatever.


I do hope I will have an empowering post for you all to read tomorrow that I was able to say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to the cake. But right now there's this vampire that hasn't had a fresh stream in a day or two like pang in my stomach and mouth that's like...come ooooon, a lil bit won't hurt. Well, for me...as I've stated before, it will. I'm not at that stage in the game where I an have a sliver and be satisfied.


I should have been asleep so I'm going to do that now and pray for strength that the potty trip is just that....go potty, come back to bed. don't even LOOK in that direction!!!

later, *wave*