ah, week 6...in the mix....

...started yesterday. Duh, that was a reason for posting. however, I was going to post on something else yesterday but didn't. I went out to a Tap/Bar whatever u wanna call it Friday night with an old coworker but still buddy that I had not seen in a lil over 2 years! It was cool. She's been going through some times so I figure, if she wanted to head out, I'd oblige. Heck, I WANTED OUT!! The only problem was that we decided on a night when buckets of rain decided to drop down!! Still went out though. It was nice. I made a pretty decent food choice as well.

It's a bar so you know you're not getting anything healthy...maybe some veggie sticks but well, even though it's the U of C, it's in a college/university community so yeah, greasy spoon! I opted for a grilled cheese and a small order of fries. I had some red wine as well...plus some water...lots of water! I shared the fries and also ended up eating half of the sandwich; gave the other half to my buddy! Later on she bought a cheeseburger and small fry and we split those as well. So yeah, I didn't gorge...I burned some calories talking and laughing so much so it was a great time! We'll have to do it again!

This week I'm going to hang with my sis while my son is in daycare getting his buddytime on!

Today, mom has a couple of doc appointments I'll be carting her around to...gonna be leaving for the first one in a couple of minutes actually.

Friday I have a biopsy that could make or break a weaker spirit but I'm convinced what's there are a couple of cysts I've had probs with before. If not then...well, I already know what I'll go through so. . .praying on that regardless.

Uuuuhm, what else...OH.yeah, i really need to either eat these apples fast or just not buy anymore for a while and grab canteloupes since I kinda owned those 3 I bought last week!! I was eating one yesterday and the seeds has started to SPROUT in the core!!! Not sick or anything...had I eaten them I'm sure it would have been like eating beans sprouts but yeah..I need to do something with these apples. I may just cook them with some water and splenda on the stove so they're cooked. And no, I'm not going to plant any apple seeds! The neighbor's plum trees are enough hell on OUR yard!!


Later all!

HAZZAAAAAAAAAH....!!!...???

I'm sure I'm going to redo this tonight but I got outta the shower, dried off, got on teh scale...and low and behold that bad boy said.......

373.8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so yeah, it may have been a bit of a glitch or offness of the weight or perhaps last week's weigh in was wrong...or perhaps I just dropped that much weight!! Stranger things have happened!!! Needless to say....it's a digital scale and I'm happy with what it read!!!!

meh...

meh....feelin' decent. waiting to hear from the towing company assigned by Kars 4 Kids to pick up the busted car I bought for my sis. Okay, I didn't know it was busted and her friend didn't have it totally looked over save for the radiator she knew needed replacing. Paid $500 for the car and $300+ for the new radiator. She paid $70 to have a full diagnostic done on the car and the repairs it needs are way more than the care is even WORTH! (needs a new transmission which I could feel shortly after buying it even though I test drove it myself.)



Live and learn. just buy new used or new!

now, my van is doing okay but it's 4 years younger than her car (same car company; Plymouth).

As for my essays that are due....a masterpiece of NOTHING! I decided that I'm going to just take the D and F I'll end up getting and retake the courses one at a time...however, not necessarily right this fall....I don't have to take the courses in any order accept the last, thesis course.

I decided on that because, while I'm going to have to eat the costs of those courses, I'm really stressed out when it comes to trying to even read the books to research the topics. The problem is everytime I get to reading one my mind wanders or I'm focused but then I get super sleepy!!! It's not like they aren't topics I have an interest in because I CHOSE THEM!!

I think I'm just intimidated by having to pull 10-12 pages out of my ass when the most I've written on a regular basis is maybe 5 pages and at most one or two 8pagers.


Now, this decision to just chuck 'em out and redo the courses later down the road won't be final until I've let Monday come and go and I've submitted nothing. Monday is the deadline, not Wednesday like I kept thinking. two days means a lot when you're a procrastinator!

I'm sure I'm going to try again..I've got tomorrow without the boy at home and then Friday I'm sure mom will cart him off downstairs while I try to get this stuff finished up here. I can only try. I've got that.

weigh in

With the dessert prep (which was just a delicious as it's regular counterpart btw) last night I forgot to do my weigh-in until late last night. I'm down to 380.4! Not quite a 2 pound loss but I had to tell myself IT'S A LOSS so DO NOT FEEL LIKE YOU SUCK AT THIS! I'm going to fight with myself to stay awake (if that means downing a pot of coffee then bring on Mr. Coffee and Juan Valdez to create unholy partnership of caffeine and heat) and get these papers finished and submitted this week so I can be DONE with these to grad courses once and for all!! I'm really rethinking it. I still want/need the master degree but do I want to continue to pursue it the online route? I know it's me and my horrid time management but for now, it's the easiest way to go.

But sometimes, easy isn't always best so...
I should be able to get these papers finished though since my son will still be in daycare/preschool over the summer while I'm on summer break.


I need to update my lil ticker down there. At first, the scale said 379.1 or something like that but I was trying to get it to save the results for my user number and the tapping and standing thing I'm supposed to do wasn't working. So yesterday's results aren't saved. When I weigh this Saturday I will have re-read the manual again so I know what line dance movement I'm supposed to do to get it to work (tap tap shuffle turn scoot scoot your caboose)! But yeah, 379.1 then the last 3 times it said 380.4 so that's what I'm going with. No big deal (even if I didn't think that last night.

As usual I'm sleepy. . . so with that....

Peace and Be Blessed!

slimmed down dessert

Building Fund service is tomorrow evening at 4 and we have a potluck dinner in between services. I'm going to take a Tiramisu Bowl ( http://www.kraftfoods.com/kf/recipes/tiramisu-bowl-106862.aspx ) that is trimmed back a bit. I've had and made it the regular way before but, well, not only do I need to lose weight but so many in our small congregation need to as well and/or are diabetic. So I'm going to use fat-free/sugar-free vanilla pudding, skim milk (outta skim so watered down whole instead), Reduced Fat Vanilla Wafers, 1/3less fat cream cheese, Splenda, uuuuuuh oh, and either fat-free or low-fat whipped topping.

I'm sure hey won't complain and since I'd like to be able to have a taste of it without feeling like I've cheated, I need to make it this way. So be it.

I'm super sleepy so I need to get to cracking before I end up having to wake up tomorrow morning to make it!

howdy all

Perhaps it was the excitement of today being the last day of school and they beginning of summer break and the fact that I'd have some time to myself before I had to go pick up the boy but the only thing I had to eat...or drink...was the bowl of Cheerios around 7am. I didn't eat again until about 2:30pm. I could have grabbed something at Panera Bread but I refused. I could have stopped somewhere but I didn't. I wasn't starving and I remembered I had an apple in the van. I still didn't eat until I got home. And I did a LOT between getting to work and returning back home! Did some last minute straightening up of my room, then after I left I went to World Market a few blocks away from work. I was in the mood for a bottle of red to let sit. I'm afraid of the one I have though (suggested) because it only has an alcohol volume of 5.5% which seems like it's going to be very very week and possibly too sweet...like a port. And I don't want a port. I guess I'll have to stick to a 12.5% and let it breathe a little longer before drinking it. I'll judge it once I try it. I've still got a Chianti sitting from my last visit there. I also picked up some Italian Lemon Soda...really good...I could make it myself with some club soda, fresh lemon juice, and instead of the cane sugar, I'd have splenda...maybe honey. Save myself some calories. Plus, I picked up some sun-dried tomatoes and dry salami. The salami smelled like spicy a$$...and tasted like it smelled. Something told me NOT to get it but I did. 2.49 pissed away cuz I tossed that and spit out what I had and rinsed my mouth it was so bad! I'll just stick to regular old Genoa hard salami if I want a treat. Aldi has that already sliced.....AAAAND, fresh mozzerrella!! I know this because I stopped by there to replenish some fresh veggies and booooy howdy, they had strawberries for .99, cantelope for .99, and red grapefruits for .29!! Those were right by the entrance!! YAY! Picked up some Roma tomatoes, a couple of cucumbers and heads of lettuce, some bags of frozen chicken breasts and a whole fryer chicken. I trim the excess fat from the chicken and roast it with herbs. I can't wait to cook this one...it's in the fridge thawing now. I have some red potatoes to roast as well. Perhaps some fresh green beans. Speaking of which, I need to go put those beans in the ground! The peas are growing nicely and I'm sure it's time to pick some more collards.


Sooo, I'm going to (again) look for recipes because days at home mean more opportunities to goof off with the food and eating right. I will be trying to get out and do some more walking. And ....use the dvds I bought.

So, yeah, I just had some light microwave popcorn (shared with my son), some slushified lemon soda (mmmm), water, and now here I am. Sleepy because of all the running around I've done the past couple of days and excitement. Gonna cut this here. If something more peaks my typing fancy, I'll be back.

I'm soooo freaking tired!!

So as not to keep you all waiting...I made it through the night and today with none of that cake!!! YAY!! However, I DID have some of the cake served at my mom's retirement party. At first I was going to split a piece 3 ways with my sis and my son...then decided to get my own piece because, I knew I'd only have one piece, (and thank goodness there was NONE leftover) and it was a reasonable size piece.

The party was very very nice and my mom was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SURPRISED!! They did a really good job and being who she is, my mom was helping to set up decorations because she just thought it was the end of the year party for the faculty and staff. She'd even paid her $25 for the lunch!!! she got it back in a card along with money gifts from everyone totaling $400!!! She CAN'T spend it on bills..has to be something for HER ONLY!! We're still trying to figure out what to get her with our kids funds or where to send her. Not as easy as we thought cuz she'll want one of us to go with her and if I go then I'm trying to get someone else to watch my son cuz it's really not a vacation with him...well, a relaxing one at least.

The menu was not horrible at all!!! I was very pleased! VERY Pleased. Green beens almondine with little or no sale added, mashed potatoes with gravy on the side, salad, fried AND BAKED chicken, 4" french bread rolls, and Italian beef with or without peppers.


I had salad with a drizzle of Italian dressing, a BAKED chicken breast, about 1/2 c. of green beans, no mashed potatoes, and a bread roll and Italian Beef. Everything was good too and I did have the cake but I didn't have any last night. Since about 1pm with the food was eaten I've had 1 1/2 beef sandwiches. and it's 11:32 now and I had the last one around 9:15. I wasn't going right to bed because I drove my sis back home so I was still up and about. I haven't had any fruit today though so I'm kinda iffy about that. I didn't feel like an apple or an orange. For breakfast I had my usual 1 cup of cold cereal and skim milk. After I got my sis we came back to the "main house" to wait for my bro and sis n law so we could head over to mom's school together. I had more water and a bit of trail mix..not even a 1/4 cup...and then a Bagelful.


Today was a good day. I can't say with honesty that I didn't have any of that cake on the stove though. When I got back home I got a taste (literrally like an ounce maybe) of that cake and icing and thought ...meh. If I don't have a whole piece..I'll live.

The uh oh moment of the day was not with food but with one of my tires blowing out. Apparently one of the downfalls of buying a super used vehicle is not knowing the age of the tires on it. This one gave a little over a year but I'm told it was dry-rotted and there was really nothing I did to cause it or anything I could do to prevent the pop!! Luckily it happend about 5 blocks from home and my mom has AARP Road and Tow coverage even though the only vehicle on it is mine. We were quoted that service would be there in an hour but he was there within about 20 minutes so that was a blessing. He put the "donut" on and I was now trying to find a place to buy a used tire because, while it's the last day before summer break, I still need to go to work tomorrow and a baby spare on the expressway is not the business for me! I wanted used because I eventually plan to get a newer used vehicle that I won't have to worry so much about. This one came to make with aobut 140K+ and It's got almost 167K now in a little over a year. Not sure if tha's average because this is my first vehicle that I own. My big red baby!
It all worked out, got a nice looking used for only 23.50 total. A new one from Sam's Club would have been $50+ AND $15 to put it on. I wouldn't have made it to them in time tonight and the other places were closed or equipment wasn't working. The bad equip guy told me about the one I ended up going to and it worked out. Even got to see a big ol' dog take a monster poop!!! That hasn't happened since I dog died 3 years ago!!! Yeah, gross but you need a giggle moment too!

Okay, I think I've got everything in ....will only get about 5 hours of sleep probably but it's better than nothing...or 1-3 hours. 1-3 hours is just plain wrong!!

I must remember...

...that some people just won't change. Subject A: My mom. Today the classroom teacher who's room she's assigned to gave her a couple of balloons, cards from herself and the kids, and a cake for my mom's retirement. I'm guessing they wanted to do something early with the kids since they wouldn't be there all day on Friday and not at all tomorrow, hence the surprise party at her school. So, naturally the leftover cake is hers so she brought it home. This a day, ONE DAY, after she brought home leftover fried chicken and fries from lunch...and asked me if I wanted some.


Insert frustrated yell here.

I had to tell her, I CAN'T have that, it's fried. Her response, oh I forgot. I'm sorry. okay.

An age of mid 60s, early 80s, 100s, whatever . . . I've been obese my entire life...clearly there's no room for forgetting that your youngest daughter SHOULD NOT be eating fried food, fast food, take out food, whatever!

So I've had to resist the powerful temptation to go in there and have some cake or even OPEN THE BAG to see what kind it is!!!! I want no parts of that! I don't want to see if...I can only guess what kind it is that little kids would want to eat.

Now my sis made an okay point saying that my mom can't totally adjust what she does to accommodate my need to lose weight and not see the uh oh and no no foods she wants to bring home. Too much of a hassle to "hide" the cake downstairs and have to go down there to that fridge every time she wants a piece (we live in a 2 flat with full basement and full attic btw so that's why there's a fridge up and downstairs...2 apartments). However, is it too much for her to remember there are things I need to be doing to change my lifestyle? I mean, every now and then she goes into rants about how I need to watch what I'm eating and I need to exercise and "we gonna walk together, put gran-man in a stroller and take him with us" and then, You want some chicken? WTF?! Besides, right now I'm thinking, she goes down there every day anyway so why not but, not my house, not my rules. However, my sis has never had to consciously try to eat better to lose weight because she has a condition where she's gonna drop weight anyway, most times without even trying.

I really REALLY hate knowing that cake is in there. I'm gonna have to wake up in the night to take a pee cuz I've been drinking water late in the day! I've been strong so far but this is probably similar to how a recovering addict feels when they roommate still drinks, smokes, or does whatever drug they've quit but they can't really afford to move yet. I'm fighting with my mind right now to say YOU DON'T NEED IT.

On top of the cake issue, I'm afraid of what's going to be on the menu for this party tomorrow that I'll be able to actually eat without have to scalp it first. I should probably take my water jug with me. Oh crap, I need to pack my son's bag "to take to work with me since I'm taking him with me" ... that's the cover story I told my mom in case she wanted to call the daycare and they tell her that I never dropped him off or that he's not there, whatever.


I do hope I will have an empowering post for you all to read tomorrow that I was able to say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to the cake. But right now there's this vampire that hasn't had a fresh stream in a day or two like pang in my stomach and mouth that's like...come ooooon, a lil bit won't hurt. Well, for me...as I've stated before, it will. I'm not at that stage in the game where I an have a sliver and be satisfied.


I should have been asleep so I'm going to do that now and pray for strength that the potty trip is just that....go potty, come back to bed. don't even LOOK in that direction!!!

later, *wave*

into week 4

So yeah, yesterday was the first day of Week 4 "Lose some More". I doubt the trend of giving each week a rhyming name will last! I'm wondering if counting the weeks is a good or bad idea for me? I've realized there are a lot of things that work for other people that don't work for me . Consciously counting calories, fat, carbs, etc., I mean, I do look at the labels to even check what I'm putting in my body from the serving amounts in each package to some of the ingredients. Is it real whole grain or whole wheat or is their caramel coloring in it? Is the flour bleached or enriched? Will I be floating for the next week because of the astronomical amount of sodium in each serving that has me bloated and swollen? I just don't journal what I've eaten during the day all too well. I' not saying that writing or using my hands to write is dead because I still doodle, draw, grade papers...I still have to use my hands for the ancient art of writing. It's just that I type WWWWAY faster than I write! I could blog my food intake for the day but then I'd have to remember what I ate. I realize that I'm only eating 3 or 3 1/2 times a day and it's not bothering me. I'd thought I was going to eat 5-6 smaller meals but well, I'm satisfied with what I'm getting so far so .. .

It's late but I wanted to blog something. I missed yesterday. This is the last week of school b4 break. I really should be trying to get a summer job to make some income on top of my pay from work over the summer. I probably won't. Will spend my summer at home in the garden/yard trying to manage the plum trees sprouting up everywhere, paying for a new fence for the backyard, and cleaning up inside the house. Maybe finally getting those floor tiles in the kitchen and bath and painting the walls. It's a lot but I've been doing it since 2006..yeah, it's not finished yet. go figure! At least the chance to burn some calories is there. I'm also hoping to get a good amount of painting completed and perhaps started. I have 4 works do complete that have been commissioned. Two are for my church and I'm probably not even gonna collect on the rest of that money. It's been since 2006 and they still aren't finished. So tell me why I took on two more posters last year? Cuz I have high hopes but then ..yeah...just like my grad courses....I take on projects that I should have some hindsight in by now.


For now, I'm thinking my health is first and foremost after my son's. I have to make sure I'm living so if that means just putting everything and everyone else on hold short of my job, so be it. I need to work on me. Even though I am working on some gifts those are no big deal They'll be finished by tomorrow (started them today). Time seemed to fly by today even though I had not a one student in my class today because hardly no one showed up and those who did chose to hang in another teacher's room. I'm going to have to take advantage of the down time to start the reading and finish the papers that are due.

Here's an ongoing prob for me though:
I'm wondering why I can't get through reading one page of reading before I'm yawning and just feeling overwhelmed with trying to get it read? Even magazine articles in a magazine I've bought because I like it! That's a real pisser when you're trying to browse through about 30 books and articles combined to get enough information to write two 10-12 page papers and one 5 page paper based on just one book. It really interferes with my progress in life recently. If I can't get the reading done I won't be able to get the papers written and there goes over $1600 down the drain because if I stay with this school and this degree then I'm going to have to take those two required courses again eventually...I don't have to repeat them asap...can take the courses in any order. Whatever course I take, whenever I take it, there's gonna be reading and paper writing and my brain is in "what are you crazy?!?" mode.

okay for real Good Night All

oh yeah, forgot to mention this gem!

OH YEAH,

I treated the mom and son to a lunch at a restaurant that we had NEEEVER been to before despite their history of being just a few miles away. The food was delicious and I'm GLAD TO SAY, that there were not only two but THREE doggy bags leaving with us!!! Only a few weeks ago I would have devoured that plate/bowl of linguine with mushrooms, broccoli, and chicken in a white wine sauce that was enough for four people to get a decent helping. Instead, when I saw the food before the lovely waitress (Wendy, a doll :) ) was even good and ready to bring it to the table, I said ooooh, I'm so not gonna finish that food!! I had nibbled on salad and I think I did have too much bread before the food. There was just SOOO much salad that I couldn't finish it; I wanted to eat some of the entree. After lunch is when we went to Walmart so that was about an hour of on my feet time...enough for me to really realize that the new wedges I bought yesterday are for those times when you'll be sitting for the majority of your time wearing them! ouch! but it's not their fault . . . I need a wide width and they only camIe in regular but they still fit. I said, dab nabbit they're cute enough, Payless is having a BOGO sale, I want them. . . and and DOGGONIT I'd better be able to fit them better by summer's end! I'll always need a size 12...but not always a wide width. So I'm good.


I just had the contents of my doggy bag and when I put it on the plate that was when I realized that there was JUST SO MUCH of it! I ate it all and I feel full. Not stuffed, not still hungry or "hungry". Satisfied. I'm downing some water to help it along now and not to be gross but before I ate lunch and about an hour ago, I ..uuuh...emptied out and made room for more. So, I don't know if that sounds like I'm justifying eating the rest of the food but I don't feel like I just piled now food on top of old food so everything is just sitting around.

It seems like it was a bit of devine intervention to actually eat at that place. I'd planned on visiting a pancake house and hoping there would be something light like an eggwhite omelette and fresh fruit on the menu. BUUUUUUT, as I saw the first one that I'd forgotten about, too crowded...got to the one I was planning for, tooo crowded. Now, I know these kind of places usually have a high volume on Saturdays so I was expecting that but today? Today is graduation day for a lot of schools in the city so by 11:30am some were letting out and well, people wanna eat. No parking, looked like there was a standing room only wait, NEXT! So I was kinda in a bind. I was hungry; the Cheerios were wearing off, and I didn't want to go all the way to Red Lobster. Since I am still boycotting Applebees because of the crap service and food we received the last time we were there, it wasn't an option. I noticed the restaurant seemed to be open so I turned, parked, checked to see if they had seating, then checked the menu, saw some nice looking options (I was scanning for something healthy-esque and that I also didn't already have the makings for at home), went back out to scoop up the fam, then went back to check if they took cards cuz I don't carry cash much at all.

This was an Irish-style restaurant...I think mostly because it was in a historically Irish neighborhood (Evergreen Park). Actually, thinking about it, the menu was more Italian (pasta, pizza, oooh that pizza smelled divine!, etc.) than Irish...was there even a corned beef sandwich on the menu??? I had a thought about how the portions are so ... so huge. Then I thought about how greek restaurants (some) give you so much..hence, what I heard coined "Greek portions" or even Italian family style eating which seems to have nothing to do with the fact that you pass the platters of food around the family table and more to do with the fact that you get enough food for yourself to feed a family!! Yet, in the Mediteranean region where Italy and Greece are is where they're supposed to be so fit, etc. I think it's just because with Americanization comes the need to be bigger and better . . . however, that concept just DOESN'T WORK for every little thing. You can't have huge portions of food to justify the bigger price tag because well, you end up with over half of a country's occupants that are overweight, obese, or in my case morbidly obese. Okay, I know that it's about personal choices and no one told you to eat 4 Wendy's .99 burgers, fries, Frosty, and chicken nuggets or a TOTAL RAID of the McDonalds Dollar Menu!!!! But well, the whole concept of Americanization when it comes to marketing food to people is just sickening.




I think I lost my train of thought..............oh. Over in Italy and Greece...they do a loooooot of walking so they can have that big meal...but really, I don't even know if they have these BIG meals there like the "Italian" and "Greek" restaurants here in America...namely Chicago. But well, they have so much beautiful AWESOMELY BEAUTIFUL naturally beautiful and did I mention BEAUTIFUL landscape and old world architecture, art, and culture to walk and take in before, during, and after a meal. Where's my plane ticket and closed real estate deal at for Tuscany??? sigh

Well, despite my mini anti-American BIG EVERYTHING UP diet rant, I'm sure we'll eat there again...and I'm sure I'll be bringing home a doggy bag instead of forcing down an entree fit for four!

I think that's all. Gonna drink some more water. Peace and Blessings!