quick note...I'll probably weigh in tomorrow. I'm ..."empty" but I also ate right before emptying out! yeah, another TMI moment but well...yeah.
I need to write down all of the food I have that really needs to be eaten!! Aside from maybe getting bread for mom and the boy, we REALLY could stand to just slow down our spending!!! I'm gonna have to try and get mom a home business or something to do...maybe she could start making clothes again...even if it's just baby clothes...maybe even baby clothes to donate to drug addicted or abandoned babies in hospitals or in the DCFS system. SOMETHING so she's not at home doing laundry, cleaning, or wanting to spend all of her money because she's retired and doesn't have to wake up anymore to head into work. Plus, it'll help keep her mind sharp I think. Not sure if we need to invest in a surveillance system or not.
Anyway, God is Good that we can afford these groceries...i just do NOT want her blowing through her money now when we really DON'T need to do much shopping right now.
We went to my sister's for a jewelry show this morning and b4 we left ran her by the grocery store. I didn't really think we needed anything yet we left with $40+ worth of stuff. That didn't include my sister's stuff...she paid for her own. So yeah, I really need make as accurate a list as I can so I can start to look at all these cookbooks I have and figure out what I can make that serves 3-4 people and won't be soooooo high in cals and fat!
Okey dokey, I hope everyone of you reading is well and doing great in your quest for a smaller you. Today, I wore a pair of jeans that .....wow, I'm really 20+ pounds lighter; just had to type what I was happily thinking....used to be a little tight. I'm not sure if I'm going to purchase jeans from that store anymore though...they all seem to be low-riding or lay about an inch below the waist line. Plus the crotch area never really comes UP to the crotch and yet the jeans don't stay up. not sure if that's a too small or too big issue or just a "you paid only $18 for these, what do you expect" issue? I really don't understand why you would make a size 30-ANYTHING in low rise or any unflattering cut of clothing in that size or bigger. I don't wanna wear it and I definitely don't wanna see it!!!
okey dokey...
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
la la la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
numming on a 80cal, 0 fat Peach yogurt. I've learned that well, I just need to pay a lil extra for this Dannon Light & Fit brand and save 20 calories cuz the portion is 2 oz. smaller...and make up for the smaller amount but higher cost with bigger taste! I'd been getting the cheaper, 8oz. Aldi brand yogurt and after having the Dannon..and then going back to the Aldi brand...I just...I couldn't stay! Luckily Jewel usually has it on sale 10/$5...the sale that ended today was 10/$4...not sure if that's part of their price knock down thing they've been doing recently but I'll take it! grabbed 6 peach and 4 lemon chiffon.
So, without keeping a physical, written journal, I believe I have stayed below 2000 calories since Sunday. Since I've decided to start watching what I eat more closely and preparing 95% of my meals (I add that -%5 because I do sometimes have McDonalds and try to allow for some "spoil the family" with a meal out) I've been naturally staying under 2000 calories. It's somewhere between 400 and 900 more calories when the pounds don't come off...they stay stagnant or increase. I prefer a loss.
I also bought some whole wheat or whole grain bread products that are 100 cals a serving. Still a bit high but some are mini bagels to go with this whipped cream cheese w/honey&nuts that I'll indulge in a couple or so mornings or for a midday snack. The other is a new product...at least I've never seen it before...100 cals for it's like a sandwich bun that's been reduced to two mini-flat breads. one slice alone of this whole wheat (real ww, not white bread with some sprinkles of wheat and caramel coloring) bread I get at Aldi is 100 alone! I realized that last week and had to cut back my turkey burger from 2 slices to 1 slice cut/torn in half. Better option, and it's still a sandwich. And while I had the turkey burger with cheese, I've had lettuce and tomato with it. :D
soooooo, today I had a bowl of red berries Special K and 1/2 c. of skim milk (150), then 3/4 c. brown rice and about 1c. of chicken cacciatore sauce with vegs and about hmmmm, 3 or 4 oz. of chicken breast (est. 300 calories 350 max...could be wrong but the brown rice was only 70 i think and the tomato based "stew" is pretty lean), dinner was 1 1/2 c. collard greens, some rotisserie curry seasoned chicken..about 5 oz., and the fatty bad part was 2 2" pieces of cornbread. (I estimate that at about 450 calories).
It'd been about 5 hours+ since my last meal and I did some grocery shopping x2 before returning home and theeen I was trying to prep dinner. I was super dizzy...which happens to me a lot when I'm low on food and water..go figure. I felt sick, went to potty, didn't feel too much better after lightening my load (ha) so I had to sit again b4 falling out. Finally got the energy to get dinner and nuke it in the microwave. Knew I was gonna go for the greens so I figured...yeah. I want some cornbread
Just had the 80 calorie yogurt so I ESTIMATE (only 2 or 3 items are package info verified) that my total for today is 980...yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah....no good....I need to eat more..at least I know I should have today...Oh wait, I had a boiled egg with that cereal this morning! not much of a big difference though.
sooooo, yeah, need to make sure I'm getting all my food in for the day so I'm not starving my metabolism.
sigh...i need to try and get to sleep before 10:30 because as long as I'm awake, the boy is awake because he still snuggles in my lil bed with me!
Don't judge me...some of y'all got fuc...uuuuh, jacked up living situations too!! LOL!!!
later all.
Be Blessed
So, without keeping a physical, written journal, I believe I have stayed below 2000 calories since Sunday. Since I've decided to start watching what I eat more closely and preparing 95% of my meals (I add that -%5 because I do sometimes have McDonalds and try to allow for some "spoil the family" with a meal out) I've been naturally staying under 2000 calories. It's somewhere between 400 and 900 more calories when the pounds don't come off...they stay stagnant or increase. I prefer a loss.
I also bought some whole wheat or whole grain bread products that are 100 cals a serving. Still a bit high but some are mini bagels to go with this whipped cream cheese w/honey&nuts that I'll indulge in a couple or so mornings or for a midday snack. The other is a new product...at least I've never seen it before...100 cals for it's like a sandwich bun that's been reduced to two mini-flat breads. one slice alone of this whole wheat (real ww, not white bread with some sprinkles of wheat and caramel coloring) bread I get at Aldi is 100 alone! I realized that last week and had to cut back my turkey burger from 2 slices to 1 slice cut/torn in half. Better option, and it's still a sandwich. And while I had the turkey burger with cheese, I've had lettuce and tomato with it. :D
soooooo, today I had a bowl of red berries Special K and 1/2 c. of skim milk (150), then 3/4 c. brown rice and about 1c. of chicken cacciatore sauce with vegs and about hmmmm, 3 or 4 oz. of chicken breast (est. 300 calories 350 max...could be wrong but the brown rice was only 70 i think and the tomato based "stew" is pretty lean), dinner was 1 1/2 c. collard greens, some rotisserie curry seasoned chicken..about 5 oz., and the fatty bad part was 2 2" pieces of cornbread. (I estimate that at about 450 calories).
It'd been about 5 hours+ since my last meal and I did some grocery shopping x2 before returning home and theeen I was trying to prep dinner. I was super dizzy...which happens to me a lot when I'm low on food and water..go figure. I felt sick, went to potty, didn't feel too much better after lightening my load (ha) so I had to sit again b4 falling out. Finally got the energy to get dinner and nuke it in the microwave. Knew I was gonna go for the greens so I figured...yeah. I want some cornbread
Just had the 80 calorie yogurt so I ESTIMATE (only 2 or 3 items are package info verified) that my total for today is 980...yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah....no good....I need to eat more..at least I know I should have today...Oh wait, I had a boiled egg with that cereal this morning! not much of a big difference though.
sooooo, yeah, need to make sure I'm getting all my food in for the day so I'm not starving my metabolism.
sigh...i need to try and get to sleep before 10:30 because as long as I'm awake, the boy is awake because he still snuggles in my lil bed with me!
Don't judge me...some of y'all got fuc...uuuuh, jacked up living situations too!! LOL!!!
later all.
Be Blessed
Monday, July 20, 2009
that scale is on crack
the scale has me down to 367.2 or some such foolery again. I got outta the shower and just outta morbid curiosity I took it outta the box and stepped on it again.
anyway, not so much worried about that as I am about this lump in my lower cheek outside of my lower jaw. my tooth/teeth have been hurting back there for about a week now. I figured it was just a cavity at it's brink or my wisdom tooth back there acting up. This morning the pain started again and again I assumed it was the bottom teeth....even though sometime last week I thought the pain might be originated at the top....so I touched my cheek to see if it was swollen and pressed and something moved. so i felt around and the lower jaw area is where there's a lil lump. I figure it's an abscess....why do those things love me so??!! I have to have my teeth cleaned and cavities filled anyway but they're probably gonna take those wisdom teeth out too. That's gonna be a bill despite having coverage!!!! And I'm really gonna need to get in to see a dentist fast so all the work can get started before work starts back.
oy.
anyway, not so much worried about that as I am about this lump in my lower cheek outside of my lower jaw. my tooth/teeth have been hurting back there for about a week now. I figured it was just a cavity at it's brink or my wisdom tooth back there acting up. This morning the pain started again and again I assumed it was the bottom teeth....even though sometime last week I thought the pain might be originated at the top....so I touched my cheek to see if it was swollen and pressed and something moved. so i felt around and the lower jaw area is where there's a lil lump. I figure it's an abscess....why do those things love me so??!! I have to have my teeth cleaned and cavities filled anyway but they're probably gonna take those wisdom teeth out too. That's gonna be a bill despite having coverage!!!! And I'm really gonna need to get in to see a dentist fast so all the work can get started before work starts back.
oy.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
the math...is F*&&y^ KILLING ME!!!
Okay, so I'm trying to figure out if I wanna do 2000, then 1800 then maybe drop down to a steady 1600 calories a day or just go with 1800 for the duration.
Then I'm trying to figure out which of these formulas I want to use to break down where I'm getting my calories from: the "recommended" 50% carbs, 20% protein, 30% fat or my preferred 45% carbs, 35% protein, 20% fat.
However, with that above system, whichever I chose, neither adds up to what the mypyramid.gov charts for a 2000 cal diet recommends after I've calculated how many calories, grams, then ounces are in each group..namely the protein (meats and beans) and carbs (grains). Plus I don't know how to count my vegetables. I know they have calories I mean, most are under 100 per serving of a whole veg (the leafy greens or nonstarchy vegs) but they still have calories.
Sooooo yeah, I might just go back to this plan I used back in 97 and did well on...see if it's breakdown sort of matches what the usda recommended for either 2000 or 2005 (new charts come out next year). Or I might just go ahead and follow what the usda recommends for the 2000, 1800, and 1600 calorie diets.
Any recommendations? Anyone out there breaking up where their calories are going? Carbs and starchies here, meats and beans here, fat here if any extra other than what's in your lean meats???
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So far today I've had 1c. of special k, one cup of skimmed milk, and one banana. Just had about a cup of wheat elbow macaroni and chicken cacciatore, that had perhaps about 1 1/2 cups of chicken and the rest was like tomato sauce with some pepper and onion slices.
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I MUST be putting too much into this. But I figure, those calculations are out there for a reason....not just to make nutritionist and dietitians some income....hmmm.
if nothing else, it's been interesting to search the net for all this stuff. right now..my brain hurts. and since my son is napping, i probably should too.
Then I'm trying to figure out which of these formulas I want to use to break down where I'm getting my calories from: the "recommended" 50% carbs, 20% protein, 30% fat or my preferred 45% carbs, 35% protein, 20% fat.
However, with that above system, whichever I chose, neither adds up to what the mypyramid.gov charts for a 2000 cal diet recommends after I've calculated how many calories, grams, then ounces are in each group..namely the protein (meats and beans) and carbs (grains). Plus I don't know how to count my vegetables. I know they have calories I mean, most are under 100 per serving of a whole veg (the leafy greens or nonstarchy vegs) but they still have calories.
Sooooo yeah, I might just go back to this plan I used back in 97 and did well on...see if it's breakdown sort of matches what the usda recommended for either 2000 or 2005 (new charts come out next year). Or I might just go ahead and follow what the usda recommends for the 2000, 1800, and 1600 calorie diets.
Any recommendations? Anyone out there breaking up where their calories are going? Carbs and starchies here, meats and beans here, fat here if any extra other than what's in your lean meats???
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So far today I've had 1c. of special k, one cup of skimmed milk, and one banana. Just had about a cup of wheat elbow macaroni and chicken cacciatore, that had perhaps about 1 1/2 cups of chicken and the rest was like tomato sauce with some pepper and onion slices.
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I MUST be putting too much into this. But I figure, those calculations are out there for a reason....not just to make nutritionist and dietitians some income....hmmm.
if nothing else, it's been interesting to search the net for all this stuff. right now..my brain hurts. and since my son is napping, i probably should too.
a thought...coming to terms a bit....
Okay, so I think I've decided that I'm going to HAVE to journal what I eat and start counting my calories. I've have two weeks with a weight gain of 2-3+ pounds so I'd like to not have a big jump like that happen again. I HATE trying to keep a food journal! I MUST hate it since I've never really kept one more than 2 or 3 weeks! I kept one pretty decent-like when I was doing the Atkins deal. Perhaps I kept that journal then pretty well because I had to keep track of my carbs. I think it was 30 max a day in the Induction stage and I stayed there for the duration of the time I stayed on Atkins. Perhaps keeping track of my calories, the numbers and adding them up, ...maybe treating them like money...will help me stick with the recording?
I don't know why I hate the thought of having to count my calories? Is it because that's so bare bones and it kind of takes away yet another ounce of dietetic freedom I thought I had? Does it mean that I couldn't do it on my own in that area so I HAVE to start counting my calories more strictly and not just eyeball it? Am I lazy or angry or neither or both? Not really sure right now but having gained this past week and not really seeing it com.OOOOOOOOOOH...yeah...I JUST remembered...this past Sunday was our potluck dinner at church service. Second Sunday is the evening building fund service and even though the past couple of Sundays we haven't had the service because the fellowship kinda spilled past the 4pm start time.....we've still had the dinner. I remember that part of the leftover brought home were the rest of the cornbread our deaconess makes...and mom loooooves cornbread so they gave us the rest. I took the rest of the pasta salad that was really veggie heavy (yum) but I think it's gonna have to be tossed out cuz apparently that stuff can turn pretty quick and it's pretty much a week old now and we didn't take any with us to the hotel. Then I made chicken cacciatore Wednesday and whole wheat elbow macaroni to go with it. Plus the lower fat/lower cal dessert I made for Sunday...a lot was leftover so I brought that back and pretty much killed that myself from Sunday to Tuesday.
Welp, mystery solved. I may very well have lost some ounces or a pound the past couple of days but when you're trimming from a blowout gain from earlier in the week the numbers will still be higher. Okay, I know what I did wrong..and once again I need to fight those carb monsters or simmer them down a bit so I can turn the rabid pitbulls into cute lil poodles that I can play with every now and then.
So, even though I did recall what possibly led to this week's gain (and it still may be some sort of good gain, ie, muscle) I'll still try to count and record my calories so I know that if I have that 100 calorie snack pack (which I haven't had since I've started..yay) then that's just 100 calories gone. Oh well. And as much of a better option as they may be, I'm gonna have to say no to the grill chicken snack wraps at mcdonalds...or at least cut it from two to one. Two makes me pretty full, I'm sure one will keep me satisfied with an apple instead of a 2nd one, and some yummy yummy .....water. Can't have that ice filled sweet tea of theirs even though the last two times I've had it it's been on point!
okey dokey, way past bedtime....but does that mean I'm off to sleep....hmmmm
Blessings All.
I don't know why I hate the thought of having to count my calories? Is it because that's so bare bones and it kind of takes away yet another ounce of dietetic freedom I thought I had? Does it mean that I couldn't do it on my own in that area so I HAVE to start counting my calories more strictly and not just eyeball it? Am I lazy or angry or neither or both? Not really sure right now but having gained this past week and not really seeing it com.OOOOOOOOOOH...yeah...I JUST remembered...this past Sunday was our potluck dinner at church service. Second Sunday is the evening building fund service and even though the past couple of Sundays we haven't had the service because the fellowship kinda spilled past the 4pm start time.....we've still had the dinner. I remember that part of the leftover brought home were the rest of the cornbread our deaconess makes...and mom loooooves cornbread so they gave us the rest. I took the rest of the pasta salad that was really veggie heavy (yum) but I think it's gonna have to be tossed out cuz apparently that stuff can turn pretty quick and it's pretty much a week old now and we didn't take any with us to the hotel. Then I made chicken cacciatore Wednesday and whole wheat elbow macaroni to go with it. Plus the lower fat/lower cal dessert I made for Sunday...a lot was leftover so I brought that back and pretty much killed that myself from Sunday to Tuesday.
Welp, mystery solved. I may very well have lost some ounces or a pound the past couple of days but when you're trimming from a blowout gain from earlier in the week the numbers will still be higher. Okay, I know what I did wrong..and once again I need to fight those carb monsters or simmer them down a bit so I can turn the rabid pitbulls into cute lil poodles that I can play with every now and then.
So, even though I did recall what possibly led to this week's gain (and it still may be some sort of good gain, ie, muscle) I'll still try to count and record my calories so I know that if I have that 100 calorie snack pack (which I haven't had since I've started..yay) then that's just 100 calories gone. Oh well. And as much of a better option as they may be, I'm gonna have to say no to the grill chicken snack wraps at mcdonalds...or at least cut it from two to one. Two makes me pretty full, I'm sure one will keep me satisfied with an apple instead of a 2nd one, and some yummy yummy .....water. Can't have that ice filled sweet tea of theirs even though the last two times I've had it it's been on point!
okey dokey, way past bedtime....but does that mean I'm off to sleep....hmmmm
Blessings All.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
oooooh vacation
I'm back up to 372.4.....boooooooooooooooooooo...starch is my enemy. okay, not my enemy, i just don't control my intake of it well! So yeah, I need to start measuring my portions, cut down on the bread....i mean, i only had 5 slices this week but....perhaps I had too much cereal? most likely too much pasta..even though it was only eaten 2 days this week (Wednesday and Thursday b4 leaving for the hotel.
We did a lot of calorie burning, at least I did, hauling that heavy duffle bag Thursday and today and the walking at the zoo...even the walking to and from the bus stops.
This is one of those times a food journal would've come in handy quite well. hmmm, well, I'm just trying to get to the 360 then 350 mark so this is a sorta blow to the course. Won't let it set me back horribly though. I WAS wearing my underwear this time on the scale though so....yeah. don't think it made THAT much of a difference!!
I'm okay people...not gonna cry..just a lil confused right now..
OH YEAH, i forgot, it could be muscle weight gain but still a fat loss. I mean, I'm beginning to see some smaller me in the mirror. I mean...us women know ..the "girls" are always the first to go so....at least my bras are fitting again.
meh......well, gonna go reevaluate.
Blessings.
We did a lot of calorie burning, at least I did, hauling that heavy duffle bag Thursday and today and the walking at the zoo...even the walking to and from the bus stops.
This is one of those times a food journal would've come in handy quite well. hmmm, well, I'm just trying to get to the 360 then 350 mark so this is a sorta blow to the course. Won't let it set me back horribly though. I WAS wearing my underwear this time on the scale though so....yeah. don't think it made THAT much of a difference!!
I'm okay people...not gonna cry..just a lil confused right now..
OH YEAH, i forgot, it could be muscle weight gain but still a fat loss. I mean, I'm beginning to see some smaller me in the mirror. I mean...us women know ..the "girls" are always the first to go so....at least my bras are fitting again.
meh......well, gonna go reevaluate.
Blessings.
Friday, July 17, 2009
but I miss ol' flat 'n lumpy!!!!
This has been a really nice stay....even though the boy has had repeated meltdowns today...especially at the zoo!! ugh...
My body was too sore after last night's sleep though...apparently my body has become accustomed to the fat and lumpy mattress that's...hmmm, 6 years old? Paid $400 for it...and it's pretty much crap now...but it's my crap!! and my body has molded it to the lumps and sink-holes it wants. These newer mattresses . . . like the one my bro has...that's like a soft firm...UUUUUGH...i wake up so horribly sore!!!! It's so sad!
We hit the zoo today. packed us a nice lil sack lunch.
Just got back from The Rainforest Cafe about an hour or so ago. racked up on a buncha lil stuffs for the wee one. It's just a lil loud and kinda scary for toddlers though!! the animatronics (hanging anaconda sized snakes, gorillas, waterfalls, fake thunderstorms...) .. my son wasn't the only one that kept having little freakouts.
It's pretty dang cool here in Chicago for the middle of July. I think the reality of the cooldown hit me most cuz i didn't bring a jacket or sweatshirt... didn't think I'd need to so bad even though I knew the forecast (which added rain last night!) plus that would be one extra thing to carry and getting here Thursday...I would have melted having it on or stuffing it in bag or carrying it on my arm.
Did a good amount of walking today. a lil gassy from the milk...not sure why it's affecting me grosslike today. usually it takes me having a dairy blowout for the symptoms of lactose intolerance to kick in. Didn't wanna wait today....WOOOOO!!!
Hopefully I won't blow either of them outta the bed tonight!! HEH!
I'll weigh in tomorrow. I'm stuffed right now. Probably need to run around the block a couple of times!
My sis is trippin' on the fact that we've got cable in the room but we've watched local channels like we were at home! HA!! With the illegal posting of movies on Youtube I'm set! hahaha sorry. had a lil moment there.
THIS BOY!!
I have to remember to change my reservation for the end of August since the VBS dates at church seemed to have changed and they're now that same week. I hope I can get the same weekend at that hotel which is the one I originally wanted but this one rocked so if I have to come back to this one it won't be horrible.
Blessings and toodles.
My body was too sore after last night's sleep though...apparently my body has become accustomed to the fat and lumpy mattress that's...hmmm, 6 years old? Paid $400 for it...and it's pretty much crap now...but it's my crap!! and my body has molded it to the lumps and sink-holes it wants. These newer mattresses . . . like the one my bro has...that's like a soft firm...UUUUUGH...i wake up so horribly sore!!!! It's so sad!
We hit the zoo today. packed us a nice lil sack lunch.
Just got back from The Rainforest Cafe about an hour or so ago. racked up on a buncha lil stuffs for the wee one. It's just a lil loud and kinda scary for toddlers though!! the animatronics (hanging anaconda sized snakes, gorillas, waterfalls, fake thunderstorms...) .. my son wasn't the only one that kept having little freakouts.
It's pretty dang cool here in Chicago for the middle of July. I think the reality of the cooldown hit me most cuz i didn't bring a jacket or sweatshirt... didn't think I'd need to so bad even though I knew the forecast (which added rain last night!) plus that would be one extra thing to carry and getting here Thursday...I would have melted having it on or stuffing it in bag or carrying it on my arm.
Did a good amount of walking today. a lil gassy from the milk...not sure why it's affecting me grosslike today. usually it takes me having a dairy blowout for the symptoms of lactose intolerance to kick in. Didn't wanna wait today....WOOOOO!!!
Hopefully I won't blow either of them outta the bed tonight!! HEH!
I'll weigh in tomorrow. I'm stuffed right now. Probably need to run around the block a couple of times!
My sis is trippin' on the fact that we've got cable in the room but we've watched local channels like we were at home! HA!! With the illegal posting of movies on Youtube I'm set! hahaha sorry. had a lil moment there.
THIS BOY!!
I have to remember to change my reservation for the end of August since the VBS dates at church seemed to have changed and they're now that same week. I hope I can get the same weekend at that hotel which is the one I originally wanted but this one rocked so if I have to come back to this one it won't be horrible.
Blessings and toodles.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
when you're on a roll...
..just make sure it's whole wheat or multigrain (RIMSHOT!!!) hahahh..
nah...I said that because I pretty much posted an entire blog entry into someone else's blog comments section!!!! I was on a roll with my post and I knew I was going to end up pasting it here!! So..here it is...
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Your potential new buddy and possible mentee will be in my prayers. There is NOTHING WORSE than dying from something that . . . pretty much was preventable and most likely your own fault. Some people have heart problems through no fault of their own but when something is brought on by an addiction of the mind and body such as food, drugs, alcohol..even sex (HIV or AIDS or syphilis resulting in death) it just puts such a blow to you (well, aside from dying) and those you've left behind.
This goes hand and hand with your leader comments. I need my son to see his mommy eating healthier and even though i'm not exercising as much yet eventually he'll see me doing aerobics, walking more, dancing around with him...I mean...we have some lil wrestling sessions and we dance around now a bit now...but he needs to see me moving more and being happy more. It was one thing to have the fear of my obesity being the cause of my death or downward health spiral when I had no kids but now that I have a son...it just...WOW!
I'm not speaking for anyone else but I'm sure the sentiment is similar if not the same but having obesity be the cause of my death after so many attempts, successes, then setbacks to more weight than I started with is just a crushing thought. Why couldn't I conquer this? Why couldn't I have more power over my body and mind? Why did I fail at controlling myself?!? I've lost it in the past when thinking of all the things I have NO control over and the one thing I SHOULD I didn't either!
I'm really thinking I'm better than that now! ...didn't mean to take up your comment section...I think I'm going to do something I've done before and copy this comment onto my own blog!
btw, luckily for me, once my weight is gone people will have my sister to thank if they still recognize me. They'll know who I am because they know her...or they'll just think I'm her! If I eventually dreadlock my hair, by the time the weight is gone it'll probably being about 7inches long so they'll think she just locked up her hair!!
I'm 3 years younger than her but we look like twins so it's really not far-fetched!
Blessings!
July 15, 2009 7:00 AM
MightySGRhofromChicaGO said...
OH YEAH!! I have my moments of impatience but SURPRISINGLY this time around I'm not on pins and needles! I'm charged and feeling it's going to happen this time!! I really believe my faith is a bit stronger this time...it's kinda a nonchalant faith but I know where my help is coming from! I also credit this blog and the support of you all following it and leaving me comments! SEAN IS THE ULTIMATE MOTIVATOR! I think we're all putting ourselves out there for others and that sort of makes us accountable for staying on track. I'm hoping none of us ends our blogging just because we've reached our goal weight! I think that's what slips up a lot of celebs who put their weightloss out there for the public to follow and then they gain it all back. Plus they try to put their unfortunate weight gain on a "hectic lifestyle" and blah blah blah. We need to stop making excuses and just say ..it's us..it's me...Hectic lifestyle just means you have to plan your meals better. choose your snacks wiser. And if you're a Hollywood celeb with Hundreds of thousands if not millions in the bank..yeeeeah, you really have no excuse. You can afford a ..topnotch home gym, personal trainer, HECK Seattle Suttons home mean delivery!!
I also think having that digital scale to let me know that I may not have lost more than a pound but I may have lost some ounces is a big help! If I've lost 2 ounces I take it! Just this morning I was at the sink pouring water in my cereal to knock my 2% milk down to a skim substitute (oooh, don't act like you all haven't done it!!) and I thought about how I just need to keep doing what I'm doing. It's working. I'm eating what I want and I'm cool with losing only a pound a week. I know it's not going to be overnight but I'll get there....Lord willing!
okay, I think that's the rest!
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Sean posted about man he'll be meeting today that has been given a "Seal of Death", collect your flowers now notice from his doctors about his heart. I'm assuming it's all obesity related otherwise I don't think he would have been contacted through the mini-grapevine.
I've been told about the pre-diabetes markers on my skin I have by my doctor. I've said in this blog before that my dad had diabetes and before that congestive heart failure and it was a "myocardial infarction" that took him. I said what the death cert. said because I'm guessing that's a bit different from a heart attack. Or it could very well just be the medical term for a heart attack and not like cardiac arrest which could INCLUDE a heart attack eventually or something. I don't know...I'm not a doctor and I didn't WebMd any info. The point is dad is dead because of his weight. I don't want to be dead because of my weight. And I'm praying God by the hand and suffering of Jesus allows me to LIVE a long life A.W.L. ***After Weight Loss***!!!!! I'd hate to finally lose all this fat I'm working to lose with no intervention of drugs or surgery or even programs or possibly even a personal trainer short of a DVD or aerobics class leader....and on the way to a victory banquet I'm shot or involved in an auto crash that takes my life!
THAT
WOULD
SUCK!!!!!
I would also like to lose it before my grandmother passes away so she can live to see that I did it! The last time she saw me lose a lot of weight was back in 2004 when I was on the Atkins approach. I dropped about 65 pounds with hitting the gym b4 work and whatnot. But that wasn't like a size 14 or 16 which is what I'm shooting for. If I can get down to a 8 or 10 that's fine too but that's not my realistic goal until I've met my first goal. Gran'mother will be 92 tomorrow. God Bless her...she's outlived all of her siblings (7 total I think) ex-husband, one son, 3 grandchildren, a grand-niece, and I'm sure a host of cousins..she may be the last on that tier of that side of my family living. and she is a three or four times great grandmother. She's also overweight/obese and her living conditions, while quiet and suburban, aren't always peaceful for her mind and spirit.
I'd like my mom to be able to see me that downsized as well.
Growing up with an obese and rather outspoken dad....and not only feeling the embarrassment of being a fat kid, I also had to feel the embarrassment of having a big dad. That said, I don't want my son to have to feel that embarrassment of having a big mom show up for whatever. However, at the rate the U.S. is going, by the time I lose all of this weight, I'll be in an even smaller minority of healthy weight individuals than exists now! America needs to heal itself y'all!
And yet....McDonalds has introduced it's new Angus burger...what is that thing, a 1/3 pounder?!!? Really??? Yes Yes, I've said it before that people are the ultimate deciders of what they eat and parents are the ultimate decider of what their young children eat....but if you're in a bit of a bind for time or you'd just like to go treat the kids to "fast food" can't we have more options of healthier food? With more and more people crossing over into the overweight and obese category of Americans...and I'm thinking that everyone that was already there not very many have died or dropped out of the category with weight loss...who do you is helping the number increase? Children...teens...those who've probably spent so much time hating fatties or vowing NEVER to become fat catching their come-uppins...or new mothers who haven't dropped the extra weight or have gained more postpartum (I've been there...I'm STILL there..but it didn't start happening until shortly before I stopped nursing).
How are all of these people crossing over? Well, lack of exercise and moving is obvious, but I'm a current testimony that weight can be lost without exercising...it's not the best way (because you might end up losing muscle as well as fat so I have to get moving and training) and it will take you longer. But...slow and steady still wins the race.
The real problem is the diet of America is horrible. Only here do we have places suggesting to add more, make it bigger, you want this or that with this or that? We drown salads in bottled dressings without regard to how we've pretty much RUINED the formerly healthy salad! We have more stores in poorer neighborhoods that sell a umpteenth amount of junk foods, processed and prepared meats and foods, sugary, HFCS drinks, and booze & cigarettes aplenty but no FRESH MEATS, FRESH FRUITS, FRESH VEGETABLES!!!! A greasy spoon on every block. The poor even have unhealthy banking habits!! Using a currency exchange as a bank and changing making system is just....it makes my skin itch!!! People end up paying money to GET their money. I don't know if they just have no trust of banks (I don't trust leaving a currency exchange with $300 in cash after cashing a SS or public aid check in the hood) or they've messed up their credit so bad that not only are utility bills in a child's name so you're messing their credit up too, but you can't even get a REAL BANK ACCOUNT because you're ssn has been red flagged? I really don't know. It could also be because they're going to go right to the dope man to blow it all on ...whatever..or to the liquor store to get drunk..
Yeah. that last part took a personal turn....gonna try and go back to sleep now. maybe it'll happen...probably won't ...especially if I do what I'm thinking of doing and pop a dvd in!
okey dokey..I may post later!
Blessing all!
nah...I said that because I pretty much posted an entire blog entry into someone else's blog comments section!!!! I was on a roll with my post and I knew I was going to end up pasting it here!! So..here it is...
************************************************************************************
Your potential new buddy and possible mentee will be in my prayers. There is NOTHING WORSE than dying from something that . . . pretty much was preventable and most likely your own fault. Some people have heart problems through no fault of their own but when something is brought on by an addiction of the mind and body such as food, drugs, alcohol..even sex (HIV or AIDS or syphilis resulting in death) it just puts such a blow to you (well, aside from dying) and those you've left behind.
This goes hand and hand with your leader comments. I need my son to see his mommy eating healthier and even though i'm not exercising as much yet eventually he'll see me doing aerobics, walking more, dancing around with him...I mean...we have some lil wrestling sessions and we dance around now a bit now...but he needs to see me moving more and being happy more. It was one thing to have the fear of my obesity being the cause of my death or downward health spiral when I had no kids but now that I have a son...it just...WOW!
I'm not speaking for anyone else but I'm sure the sentiment is similar if not the same but having obesity be the cause of my death after so many attempts, successes, then setbacks to more weight than I started with is just a crushing thought. Why couldn't I conquer this? Why couldn't I have more power over my body and mind? Why did I fail at controlling myself?!? I've lost it in the past when thinking of all the things I have NO control over and the one thing I SHOULD I didn't either!
I'm really thinking I'm better than that now! ...didn't mean to take up your comment section...I think I'm going to do something I've done before and copy this comment onto my own blog!
btw, luckily for me, once my weight is gone people will have my sister to thank if they still recognize me. They'll know who I am because they know her...or they'll just think I'm her! If I eventually dreadlock my hair, by the time the weight is gone it'll probably being about 7inches long so they'll think she just locked up her hair!!
I'm 3 years younger than her but we look like twins so it's really not far-fetched!
Blessings!
July 15, 2009 7:00 AM
MightySGRhofromChicaGO said...
OH YEAH!! I have my moments of impatience but SURPRISINGLY this time around I'm not on pins and needles! I'm charged and feeling it's going to happen this time!! I really believe my faith is a bit stronger this time...it's kinda a nonchalant faith but I know where my help is coming from! I also credit this blog and the support of you all following it and leaving me comments! SEAN IS THE ULTIMATE MOTIVATOR! I think we're all putting ourselves out there for others and that sort of makes us accountable for staying on track. I'm hoping none of us ends our blogging just because we've reached our goal weight! I think that's what slips up a lot of celebs who put their weightloss out there for the public to follow and then they gain it all back. Plus they try to put their unfortunate weight gain on a "hectic lifestyle" and blah blah blah. We need to stop making excuses and just say ..it's us..it's me...Hectic lifestyle just means you have to plan your meals better. choose your snacks wiser. And if you're a Hollywood celeb with Hundreds of thousands if not millions in the bank..yeeeeah, you really have no excuse. You can afford a ..topnotch home gym, personal trainer, HECK Seattle Suttons home mean delivery!!
I also think having that digital scale to let me know that I may not have lost more than a pound but I may have lost some ounces is a big help! If I've lost 2 ounces I take it! Just this morning I was at the sink pouring water in my cereal to knock my 2% milk down to a skim substitute (oooh, don't act like you all haven't done it!!) and I thought about how I just need to keep doing what I'm doing. It's working. I'm eating what I want and I'm cool with losing only a pound a week. I know it's not going to be overnight but I'll get there....Lord willing!
okay, I think that's the rest!
*************************************************************************************
Sean posted about man he'll be meeting today that has been given a "Seal of Death", collect your flowers now notice from his doctors about his heart. I'm assuming it's all obesity related otherwise I don't think he would have been contacted through the mini-grapevine.
I've been told about the pre-diabetes markers on my skin I have by my doctor. I've said in this blog before that my dad had diabetes and before that congestive heart failure and it was a "myocardial infarction" that took him. I said what the death cert. said because I'm guessing that's a bit different from a heart attack. Or it could very well just be the medical term for a heart attack and not like cardiac arrest which could INCLUDE a heart attack eventually or something. I don't know...I'm not a doctor and I didn't WebMd any info. The point is dad is dead because of his weight. I don't want to be dead because of my weight. And I'm praying God by the hand and suffering of Jesus allows me to LIVE a long life A.W.L. ***After Weight Loss***!!!!! I'd hate to finally lose all this fat I'm working to lose with no intervention of drugs or surgery or even programs or possibly even a personal trainer short of a DVD or aerobics class leader....and on the way to a victory banquet I'm shot or involved in an auto crash that takes my life!
THAT
WOULD
SUCK!!!!!
I would also like to lose it before my grandmother passes away so she can live to see that I did it! The last time she saw me lose a lot of weight was back in 2004 when I was on the Atkins approach. I dropped about 65 pounds with hitting the gym b4 work and whatnot. But that wasn't like a size 14 or 16 which is what I'm shooting for. If I can get down to a 8 or 10 that's fine too but that's not my realistic goal until I've met my first goal. Gran'mother will be 92 tomorrow. God Bless her...she's outlived all of her siblings (7 total I think) ex-husband, one son, 3 grandchildren, a grand-niece, and I'm sure a host of cousins..she may be the last on that tier of that side of my family living. and she is a three or four times great grandmother. She's also overweight/obese and her living conditions, while quiet and suburban, aren't always peaceful for her mind and spirit.
I'd like my mom to be able to see me that downsized as well.
Growing up with an obese and rather outspoken dad....and not only feeling the embarrassment of being a fat kid, I also had to feel the embarrassment of having a big dad. That said, I don't want my son to have to feel that embarrassment of having a big mom show up for whatever. However, at the rate the U.S. is going, by the time I lose all of this weight, I'll be in an even smaller minority of healthy weight individuals than exists now! America needs to heal itself y'all!
And yet....McDonalds has introduced it's new Angus burger...what is that thing, a 1/3 pounder?!!? Really??? Yes Yes, I've said it before that people are the ultimate deciders of what they eat and parents are the ultimate decider of what their young children eat....but if you're in a bit of a bind for time or you'd just like to go treat the kids to "fast food" can't we have more options of healthier food? With more and more people crossing over into the overweight and obese category of Americans...and I'm thinking that everyone that was already there not very many have died or dropped out of the category with weight loss...who do you is helping the number increase? Children...teens...those who've probably spent so much time hating fatties or vowing NEVER to become fat catching their come-uppins...or new mothers who haven't dropped the extra weight or have gained more postpartum (I've been there...I'm STILL there..but it didn't start happening until shortly before I stopped nursing).
How are all of these people crossing over? Well, lack of exercise and moving is obvious, but I'm a current testimony that weight can be lost without exercising...it's not the best way (because you might end up losing muscle as well as fat so I have to get moving and training) and it will take you longer. But...slow and steady still wins the race.
The real problem is the diet of America is horrible. Only here do we have places suggesting to add more, make it bigger, you want this or that with this or that? We drown salads in bottled dressings without regard to how we've pretty much RUINED the formerly healthy salad! We have more stores in poorer neighborhoods that sell a umpteenth amount of junk foods, processed and prepared meats and foods, sugary, HFCS drinks, and booze & cigarettes aplenty but no FRESH MEATS, FRESH FRUITS, FRESH VEGETABLES!!!! A greasy spoon on every block. The poor even have unhealthy banking habits!! Using a currency exchange as a bank and changing making system is just....it makes my skin itch!!! People end up paying money to GET their money. I don't know if they just have no trust of banks (I don't trust leaving a currency exchange with $300 in cash after cashing a SS or public aid check in the hood) or they've messed up their credit so bad that not only are utility bills in a child's name so you're messing their credit up too, but you can't even get a REAL BANK ACCOUNT because you're ssn has been red flagged? I really don't know. It could also be because they're going to go right to the dope man to blow it all on ...whatever..or to the liquor store to get drunk..
Yeah. that last part took a personal turn....gonna try and go back to sleep now. maybe it'll happen...probably won't ...especially if I do what I'm thinking of doing and pop a dvd in!
okey dokey..I may post later!
Blessing all!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
tourist in my own town
So my sis and I did the architecture boat tour on the parts of the river downtown this morning. Had lunch at McDonalds...the sweet tea and 2 grilled chicken wraps. Knowing that I have my own skills to make those at home..I'm most likely going to just make them and then wrap them to go and eat them ..cold or cool...when I think I'm going to be away from home long enough to get hungry. That way I KNOW what I'm getting and how it was prepared. kudos.
Can't wait to figure out what we're gonna do while we're at the hotel this week. I'm mostly going to try and stay focused and have fun! Not worry about what's happening and try to get my mom to not worry about what's going on with money, bills, the house, etc. this is a retirement gift to her that we were thinking of doing anyway aside from the new tv we all bought her...that STILL isn't set up and since there's no converter on her old one..she's not watching tv in her bedroom! just so happens that I'm paying for the whole trip now instead of the 4 kids splitting it. which is why I'm going with her...and bring the boy..NYAH!
nah, like I said before, she'd most likely HATE the idea of being anywhere alone without someone who knows their way around faster than she'd even find that info in the first place. I love my mom.
I'm hoping to get a lotta walking in and hopefully my son won't get too tired and cranky. I don't think he can fit into his umbrella stroller anymore but I should probably check first. I'd like to go to the zoo, maybe the childrens' floor of the main library for him. I'm thinking of doing the House of Blues for dinner with my sis riding down from her apt to join us. I'm still searching for a nice RED eye shadow and my last check could be the MAC shop on Michigan Avenue. I doubt I'll find one....guess I'll just have to order it online.
hmmm, another meltdown...gotta go.....
Think I'll start saving up for a Tuscany trip next summer or January 2010??? by then, i KNOW i'll have earned it!!!
Can't wait to figure out what we're gonna do while we're at the hotel this week. I'm mostly going to try and stay focused and have fun! Not worry about what's happening and try to get my mom to not worry about what's going on with money, bills, the house, etc. this is a retirement gift to her that we were thinking of doing anyway aside from the new tv we all bought her...that STILL isn't set up and since there's no converter on her old one..she's not watching tv in her bedroom! just so happens that I'm paying for the whole trip now instead of the 4 kids splitting it. which is why I'm going with her...and bring the boy..NYAH!
nah, like I said before, she'd most likely HATE the idea of being anywhere alone without someone who knows their way around faster than she'd even find that info in the first place. I love my mom.
I'm hoping to get a lotta walking in and hopefully my son won't get too tired and cranky. I don't think he can fit into his umbrella stroller anymore but I should probably check first. I'd like to go to the zoo, maybe the childrens' floor of the main library for him. I'm thinking of doing the House of Blues for dinner with my sis riding down from her apt to join us. I'm still searching for a nice RED eye shadow and my last check could be the MAC shop on Michigan Avenue. I doubt I'll find one....guess I'll just have to order it online.
hmmm, another meltdown...gotta go.....
Think I'll start saving up for a Tuscany trip next summer or January 2010??? by then, i KNOW i'll have earned it!!!
I don't even know right now
what week is this? Nine?
I'm posting when I should have been asleep considering I'm meeting my sis downtown for a 10am Chicago architecture boat tour along the river. will be the 2nd boat tour this summer with my sissy :). The first was just the lake's shoreline.
Perhaps tomorrow will offer more sunlight than that day did but the forecast calls for rain tomorrow night so the clouds may already be gathering. hmmmm. well....
Anyway, I read my last post and realized that while I think I'd weighed myself that day, I didn't put my new weight in my blog post. I recorded it on my data chart but I don't know what my body was doing but I'd dropped from 370.2 (on doc's scale, .4 on mine) last Tuesday (which itself was about a 3 pound drop from I think the previous Friday) to 367.8 last Thursday. Again, digital scales and they've been pretty accurate so far. I don't care if it was just water weight..I'M SUPER GLAD! I had to resist the mini urge to step on the scale today. I'll try to wait until Saturday even though I'll be returning back home from the swanky downtown hotel getaway I've arranged for my mom, my son, and myself this weekend. A chain of 3 hotels are holding a discounted rates for teachers promo so I jumped on the opportunity! I wanted to just have my mom go and then I'd stay home with the wee one but she'd feel like a fish outta water trying to get around downtown I already know this. Trying to keep up with her room key and money and cellphone and IDs and all kinds of stuff that would keep her from relaxing! Can't afford the room service I'm sure even though they have this lil free wine hour with appetizers and breakfast or some such something. need to read the details again. I'll get a free bottle of wine though for mentioning the deal!
So yeah, I also booked a private getaway at the one of the 3 locations I'd wanted to stay out in the first place but it wasn't available. however, I learned on Sunday that I'm going to have to try and change the date. It might have to be pushed back to December :(. will see. if so, then .ugh...meh. will see.
Okey dokey, I really need to sleep. my knee hurts...i need to start walking! I'll do more tomorrow. maybe get off a few stops early and walk to lunch from there. ah, while i am up, i should look for some cheapy places that won't break the bank or my wallet so horribly. would like to do something other than the grilled chicken wrap at Mcdonalds. i should start getting that with no sauce though if I get it again. forgot about that.
NIGHT ALL!
I'm posting when I should have been asleep considering I'm meeting my sis downtown for a 10am Chicago architecture boat tour along the river. will be the 2nd boat tour this summer with my sissy :). The first was just the lake's shoreline.
Perhaps tomorrow will offer more sunlight than that day did but the forecast calls for rain tomorrow night so the clouds may already be gathering. hmmmm. well....
Anyway, I read my last post and realized that while I think I'd weighed myself that day, I didn't put my new weight in my blog post. I recorded it on my data chart but I don't know what my body was doing but I'd dropped from 370.2 (on doc's scale, .4 on mine) last Tuesday (which itself was about a 3 pound drop from I think the previous Friday) to 367.8 last Thursday. Again, digital scales and they've been pretty accurate so far. I don't care if it was just water weight..I'M SUPER GLAD! I had to resist the mini urge to step on the scale today. I'll try to wait until Saturday even though I'll be returning back home from the swanky downtown hotel getaway I've arranged for my mom, my son, and myself this weekend. A chain of 3 hotels are holding a discounted rates for teachers promo so I jumped on the opportunity! I wanted to just have my mom go and then I'd stay home with the wee one but she'd feel like a fish outta water trying to get around downtown I already know this. Trying to keep up with her room key and money and cellphone and IDs and all kinds of stuff that would keep her from relaxing! Can't afford the room service I'm sure even though they have this lil free wine hour with appetizers and breakfast or some such something. need to read the details again. I'll get a free bottle of wine though for mentioning the deal!
So yeah, I also booked a private getaway at the one of the 3 locations I'd wanted to stay out in the first place but it wasn't available. however, I learned on Sunday that I'm going to have to try and change the date. It might have to be pushed back to December :(. will see. if so, then .ugh...meh. will see.
Okey dokey, I really need to sleep. my knee hurts...i need to start walking! I'll do more tomorrow. maybe get off a few stops early and walk to lunch from there. ah, while i am up, i should look for some cheapy places that won't break the bank or my wallet so horribly. would like to do something other than the grilled chicken wrap at Mcdonalds. i should start getting that with no sauce though if I get it again. forgot about that.
NIGHT ALL!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Revealing the Wizard!!!
So I've decided to say screw who knows how much I weigh!! Not important because this blogging ...well, this time around...and having the support of others on their own journey...has me in a new sense of YES, I'M GONNA DO IT-ism!!! So I've decided to add a picture so you all get to see who you're talking to and who's talking to you!!!
I'll most likely be rotating these pics so don't get used to one!
ok, so let me explain this pic!! This was taken Christmas '08. My sis, for some odd reason, decided to give me an impulse-buy gift...of an eye-patch!! not sure if I even know where that thing is. I think it was a pirate joke!
Christmas '08 really pissed me off though..well, Christmas Eve and it carried over into Day!! I won't get into it so much as to say that I'm really tired of the selfishness of others. It's just .. . ugh.
So yeah, I'm trying to pump a lotta water in today.
my church is sponsoring a lil field trip to a children's museum here in town tomorrow morning for the lil wee ones. after that, lunch at McDonalds. So glad I REFUSED to stop and grab us some lunch earlier this morning after I went to pick up my son super early. his daycare was closing early because only 2 kids were there.
sidebar: This show, "The Ghost Whisperer" is kinda spooking me out a bit!! I can finally get CBS on my tv with this new antenna and converter box and the channels I wanna watch...apparently there's a power failure at the station so the stations aren't putting out a signal! boooooo!
I made some whole wheat pasta with jar pesto and a bit of milk to help it sauce up for lunch...along with baked chicken. Gonna have to try to get my mom to resist the urge to buy those ready to take and eat roasted chickens at Jewel. this one we got at Walmart last week...it was good but I have to wonder if the stores use roasters or fryers. those of you who aren't in the know, a fryer has way more fat because it's meant to be cut up and fried so the fat would mostly cook/melt away.
I'm gonna have to try and hit up Jewel to pick up a couple of roasters. I used the last one a few weeks back and didn't realize it was the last one until I went to get it. Those things come in real handy when you're up for some roast Grecian chicken
uh oh...son is having an outta the blue meltdown!! went from reading to tantrum!!!
geeez..HELP!!
I'll most likely be rotating these pics so don't get used to one!
ok, so let me explain this pic!! This was taken Christmas '08. My sis, for some odd reason, decided to give me an impulse-buy gift...of an eye-patch!! not sure if I even know where that thing is. I think it was a pirate joke!
Christmas '08 really pissed me off though..well, Christmas Eve and it carried over into Day!! I won't get into it so much as to say that I'm really tired of the selfishness of others. It's just .. . ugh.
So yeah, I'm trying to pump a lotta water in today.
my church is sponsoring a lil field trip to a children's museum here in town tomorrow morning for the lil wee ones. after that, lunch at McDonalds. So glad I REFUSED to stop and grab us some lunch earlier this morning after I went to pick up my son super early. his daycare was closing early because only 2 kids were there.
sidebar: This show, "The Ghost Whisperer" is kinda spooking me out a bit!! I can finally get CBS on my tv with this new antenna and converter box and the channels I wanna watch...apparently there's a power failure at the station so the stations aren't putting out a signal! boooooo!
I made some whole wheat pasta with jar pesto and a bit of milk to help it sauce up for lunch...along with baked chicken. Gonna have to try to get my mom to resist the urge to buy those ready to take and eat roasted chickens at Jewel. this one we got at Walmart last week...it was good but I have to wonder if the stores use roasters or fryers. those of you who aren't in the know, a fryer has way more fat because it's meant to be cut up and fried so the fat would mostly cook/melt away.
I'm gonna have to try and hit up Jewel to pick up a couple of roasters. I used the last one a few weeks back and didn't realize it was the last one until I went to get it. Those things come in real handy when you're up for some roast Grecian chicken
uh oh...son is having an outta the blue meltdown!! went from reading to tantrum!!!
geeez..HELP!!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
what was up with that last post?!?!
okay, what you all DIDN'T SEE was me having to delete the original posting of that last past because for some reason the font just go RIDICULOUSLY HUGE!!! In the original I had some words in a bigger font and different color but well, I guess this thing wasn't trying to feel that this time around! geeez..touchy touchy! I reduced the font...still jacked up...I changed it all back to black font color...no change. I just had to totally delete the original post and paste it into OpenOffice, change it all to regular 12pt font and then paste it back in a new posting window...a couple of times because then it started giving me html errors! I'm like uuuh...hmm, well, like right now..I'm in the edit html and this is NOT which option pops open on the regular when I'm typing a new blog post. what sort of crack is blogger smoking tonight?!??!?! geez..
well, let's see if THIS one posts with no problems!
well, let's see if THIS one posts with no problems!
I think I restarted this journey on May 17, 2009. I had a doctor appointment on the 17th ...I think. I was back-tracking through old post from May. I say that because I had another appointment today. Just to followup and check my progress. Ladies and gentleman....even though my ticker down there only says 11.4 because I didn't start using one until the end of June....
I've lost
a little over
TWENTY POOOOOOOOUNDS!
My doctor was so happy she hugged me!!! I lost twenty pounds in ...what week is this...uuuh..hmmm...this is week eight so yeah about two months...WITHOUT EXERCISING MORE THAN JUST a bit of tidying up and some shop walking!!!
The AMAZING THING AS WELL IS THIS: So I weighed myself on Tuesday...I was late because I wasn't home for the 4th and I wanted to weigh on my scale so it would be recorded. If you check my ticker down there you'll see that on Tuesday I was back down to 373.8. I'd lost that pound I gained a couple of weeks ago so I was glad about that. I figured I'd probably lost a little more but with the holiday AND my monthly visitor upping my cravings (sorry guys, but it had to be said..but Sean, you live with a buncha ladies so hahah) I ate a lil out of cut but it was still a pound less.
When my vitals and weight was taken today, their digital scale read 370.4. I thought..well, it must be off but at least it's not more than 373.8!
So I just weighed myself at home on my scale.......and it says......
370.2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!! THE MADNESS!! THE MAYHEM!! HA HA HA HA HAAAA!!!
ahem...sorry.... No madness or mayhem just .....
HALLELUJAH!!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!
I'm just very very grateful and happy and ecstatic that I'm losing!!! I guess I haven't been eating as much as I thought I was! I have realized that my Achilles heel is BREAD!! not even pasta..but BREAD!! So I need to just lay low on the bread for a bit. Even though I limit my bread to real whole wheat or whole grain and if I do want pizza (with the exception of a couple of thin crust, frozen pizzas I had with salad only because I was totally exhausted and didn't want to cook) I make it myself. And if I make another pizza it's going to be one made with whole wheat added.
Also, apparently here in Chicago, if you have a prescription from your doc (written on prescrip. pad paper) to use the fitness centers in our park districts, you can use them for free!!! so I have one (one for my mom too cuz she's like pre-osteo and 66+); doc suggested doing the water aerobics. I can also use the equipment. I figure ..for free, and it gives me something to do that's PRODUCTIVE..since I haven't started seriously cleaning up my bedroom and other rooms yet...YIPPY!! I'm just kinda afraid of pools but as long as both my feet don't have to leave the bottom and if they do my arms are holding onto the side....YIPPYYYYYY!!!
I'm happy. even have to chuckle at my doc noticing that I was wearing eye shadow and other makeup and then she asked if I was on birth control....what was my birth control situation?!! hahahahahahahha....it's abstinence and my son!!!! I'm afraid of getting pregnant again and I'm still not married!! I guess she's thinking that with my "girley-ing" it up I might start dating and getting looks and yadda yadda yadda. While I do hope to be married one day..it's not square one on my checkerboard of things to do/accomplish right now in my life!
So, yes, it's been a minutes since I last posted but while I'd planned to at least try to come and say hello or something to let you all know I'm still alive...this just HAD ...HAAAAAD to be said!!!
Blessings!!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
BENIGN!!!
ALL IS WELL!!! The doctor called a few minutes ago and said it was benign. I've had abscesses in both of my armpits in the past, the most recent one in my left back in summer '07. had to have it drained, packed, etc.
From the biopsy, my arm still hurts and there're probably things I should have asked her while I had her on the phone but I was just happy to hear the good news.
the area is bruising up now..I guess it's normal??? just need to put some ice to it again. I kinda slept on the area a lil awkward last night.
I'm just very very happy!!
This will be a short post because I can't type it all!
thank you all for your prayers! Prayers works, answers problems, eases worries!!
Be blessed!
From the biopsy, my arm still hurts and there're probably things I should have asked her while I had her on the phone but I was just happy to hear the good news.
the area is bruising up now..I guess it's normal??? just need to put some ice to it again. I kinda slept on the area a lil awkward last night.
I'm just very very happy!!
This will be a short post because I can't type it all!
thank you all for your prayers! Prayers works, answers problems, eases worries!!
Be blessed!
math? what math?
last week I said I gave my son's daycare a 5 gallon bucket of icecream. well
I'M A DOLT! I realized that 5 Gallons would be one of those huge tubs of HOUSEPAINT!! what I meant was a 5 QUART bucket of icecream!! I was looking through a grocery circular and notice a 4 quart of ice cream on sale (nope, not getting it) and realized my oops moment!
I just like to correct myself. Especially if anyone was thinking I'm trying to kill these poor kids with not one but eventually TWO "5 gallon buckets" of ice cream!! yeah, math and I are civil neighbors at best most of the time.
Sooooo, yeah, it's 1:19AM cst and I really should have BEEN asleep about 3 hours ago! *sigh*....I have no idea what's goin' on with my summer/not having to go to work sleep cycle. I still have to get up to drop my son off and when I say I'm gonna come back and go back to sleep, a lot of times, I haven't.
I realized something. I remember Carnie Wilson talking about how she gave up her food addiction after the surgery...but then became somewhat addicted to alcohol. She traded one addiction for another. Don't call her weak or simple because I think I've just added more fuel to a spending problem I already have!
I've been doing good giving out gorging on foods, late night binging, sneaking away to drive-thrus for a burger and fries blowout, and other unsavory habits with food. I'm still having trouble eating these apples and oranges, and now grapefruits. I'm doing better with bananas and frozen fruit to make smoothies. Not sure what's going on there because I'm not using sugar...either Equal or Splenda..or the seltzer/crystal lite combo. Anyway, I'm getting my weight and eating habits in order. It's not perfect; I know it never will be. Doesn't mean one can't work towards perfection without losing a grip on reality.
My problem now is spending. I spend on things that are on sale, clearance, super discounted. I rarely buy things that are full price unless the full price is as good or better than another's sale price. I'm sort of working poor. If I didn't have a son and lived alone, I'd probably be considered upper-lower class or perhaps middle-class. But ANYWAY, getting to the point, my new dollar spiller of choice is make up! I've backed off of buying clothes. I keep trying to tell myself that I'm not going to buy clothes that I can't fit yet..but well, I don't want to keep myself in the state of mind that I'll have something to fall back on by buying clothes that I can fit now or even have a lil room in now.
The makeup kinda happened out of the blue! I was youtubing because I've decided I want to loc my hair. I haven't done it yet because...just because....waiting for that news basically. One youtube poster has BEAUTIFUL locs so I was viewing her vids and a lot of them are of her demonstrating how she does her different styles of eyeshadowing. A lot of brush talks, MAC products, etc etc etc. So I'm not saying I want to BE her, but I have makeup sitting around that I'm doing nothing with, I decided..well, you're losing weight...why not treat yourself to being a lil bit girly?
Well, Like I said, I have a lot..well, I'll say a "lot" of makeup I'm not using...and yet, I still went and got MORE! I've gone from the $1 and $1.99 range up to around $7. I haven't splurged yet on any $15 stuff....I'm thinking, since I'm not a pro, I don't want to spend that much unless I've received a one on one consultation on how to apply it and the different color combos that will work for my face shape, skintone, etc. It seems easy to say that because I'm art teacher and sometimes artist, I'd already know about color combos, and I have some ideas, but this is stuff going on my face. Rather than walk outside looking like a drowned clown...you know?
uuuuh, I think I'm doing some after 1am rambling!!! so sad!
but yes, I think I've always been the type of person where once I get it into my head that I want to GO SOMEWHERE to shop . . . even if I don't buy a thing (most likely i'll find SOMETHING to buy) I won't really be content until I've made that trip. I was like that before I had my own vehicle...it's worse now that I do!
I've been like that for the past couple of weeks. . .just GOTTA GO! Tomorrow I'm gung ho about checking out a not-too-far but not often visited mall and a never before visited store, Big Lots. I know they're nationwide but I've just never gone to one before. the number one item on my agenda....more makeup and brushes. Need to get an actual makeup box....perhaps a bigger jewelry box to hold the growing about of necklace sets and earrings. yeah.....Lord help me!
Since I've been awake for so long I'm hungry again but since I'm about to make myself fall asleep, I'm gonna just grab a banana and some more water.
No call from my doc today even though I left her a Voicemail. perhaps the results were not in yet to her office.
Thanks for stopping by! yeah, it's really time for me to shut down....keep seeing things!
I'M A DOLT! I realized that 5 Gallons would be one of those huge tubs of HOUSEPAINT!! what I meant was a 5 QUART bucket of icecream!! I was looking through a grocery circular and notice a 4 quart of ice cream on sale (nope, not getting it) and realized my oops moment!
I just like to correct myself. Especially if anyone was thinking I'm trying to kill these poor kids with not one but eventually TWO "5 gallon buckets" of ice cream!! yeah, math and I are civil neighbors at best most of the time.
Sooooo, yeah, it's 1:19AM cst and I really should have BEEN asleep about 3 hours ago! *sigh*....I have no idea what's goin' on with my summer/not having to go to work sleep cycle. I still have to get up to drop my son off and when I say I'm gonna come back and go back to sleep, a lot of times, I haven't.
I realized something. I remember Carnie Wilson talking about how she gave up her food addiction after the surgery...but then became somewhat addicted to alcohol. She traded one addiction for another. Don't call her weak or simple because I think I've just added more fuel to a spending problem I already have!
I've been doing good giving out gorging on foods, late night binging, sneaking away to drive-thrus for a burger and fries blowout, and other unsavory habits with food. I'm still having trouble eating these apples and oranges, and now grapefruits. I'm doing better with bananas and frozen fruit to make smoothies. Not sure what's going on there because I'm not using sugar...either Equal or Splenda..or the seltzer/crystal lite combo. Anyway, I'm getting my weight and eating habits in order. It's not perfect; I know it never will be. Doesn't mean one can't work towards perfection without losing a grip on reality.
My problem now is spending. I spend on things that are on sale, clearance, super discounted. I rarely buy things that are full price unless the full price is as good or better than another's sale price. I'm sort of working poor. If I didn't have a son and lived alone, I'd probably be considered upper-lower class or perhaps middle-class. But ANYWAY, getting to the point, my new dollar spiller of choice is make up! I've backed off of buying clothes. I keep trying to tell myself that I'm not going to buy clothes that I can't fit yet..but well, I don't want to keep myself in the state of mind that I'll have something to fall back on by buying clothes that I can fit now or even have a lil room in now.
The makeup kinda happened out of the blue! I was youtubing because I've decided I want to loc my hair. I haven't done it yet because...just because....waiting for that news basically. One youtube poster has BEAUTIFUL locs so I was viewing her vids and a lot of them are of her demonstrating how she does her different styles of eyeshadowing. A lot of brush talks, MAC products, etc etc etc. So I'm not saying I want to BE her, but I have makeup sitting around that I'm doing nothing with, I decided..well, you're losing weight...why not treat yourself to being a lil bit girly?
Well, Like I said, I have a lot..well, I'll say a "lot" of makeup I'm not using...and yet, I still went and got MORE! I've gone from the $1 and $1.99 range up to around $7. I haven't splurged yet on any $15 stuff....I'm thinking, since I'm not a pro, I don't want to spend that much unless I've received a one on one consultation on how to apply it and the different color combos that will work for my face shape, skintone, etc. It seems easy to say that because I'm art teacher and sometimes artist, I'd already know about color combos, and I have some ideas, but this is stuff going on my face. Rather than walk outside looking like a drowned clown...you know?
uuuuh, I think I'm doing some after 1am rambling!!! so sad!
but yes, I think I've always been the type of person where once I get it into my head that I want to GO SOMEWHERE to shop . . . even if I don't buy a thing (most likely i'll find SOMETHING to buy) I won't really be content until I've made that trip. I was like that before I had my own vehicle...it's worse now that I do!
I've been like that for the past couple of weeks. . .just GOTTA GO! Tomorrow I'm gung ho about checking out a not-too-far but not often visited mall and a never before visited store, Big Lots. I know they're nationwide but I've just never gone to one before. the number one item on my agenda....more makeup and brushes. Need to get an actual makeup box....perhaps a bigger jewelry box to hold the growing about of necklace sets and earrings. yeah.....Lord help me!
Since I've been awake for so long I'm hungry again but since I'm about to make myself fall asleep, I'm gonna just grab a banana and some more water.
No call from my doc today even though I left her a Voicemail. perhaps the results were not in yet to her office.
Thanks for stopping by! yeah, it's really time for me to shut down....keep seeing things!
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