:(

I need to put this past week behind me. I had horrible meals from last Sunday on to yesterday! yesterday we had fast food twice! total last week we had fast food about 4 times! Today, i haven't had much to eat...tea with generic equal this morning and boiled, lightly seasoned chicken breast and broth for lunch. why?


Could be a couple of reasons combined but I have a cold. I initially figured it was because friday night i didn't turn the table fan off by my bed so there was air blowing on me even though Friday and Saturday nights were pretty cool for August in Chicago. This has been a pretty...not so typical...Chicago summer btw. Anyway, today, I realized that might not be the only reason. Last week our church had our Back to School Bible Camp (VBS) so we had a lot of foreign germs in there with guest students from the neighborhood. not saying they're nasty or anything but...not sure how healthy a life they're living!!! I keep forgetting to take my vitamins so my immunity defenses are pretty down. Soooo, I've been taking psuedophed and I only have 2 left. i figured yesterda that today I'd grab some more to or from church but i didn't go because i woke up feeling like something ran over my head!

Mommy (yeah, i said mommy :P ) is boiling some more chicken for me, the boy has been napping for a while and he's already woken up once but he went back to sleep...however...is that him sighing now....uh oh. so yeah...I'm hoping this cold is gone by Thursday because that's when we're taking another staycation downtown! Weather forecast just went off and those days look good...really good.....not too hot, no rain forecast..we get rain on Tuesday or Wednesday but i'll probably have to water the potted plants outside before then anyway.



Soooooo, yeah, what happened last week with my eating? I could have easily made that pot of brown rice to go with the pepper steak and sweet n sour chicken I made but I didn't. instead, i turned the steak into wraps...not bad, had a lotta lettuce and some sliced tomatoes with that. The chicken though....I wrapped those in wonton wrappers and made FRIIIIIED eggrolls!!!! GRANTED I had sliced carrots, bell peppers, onions, and cabbage in that mix....would have been much healthier with a bit of brown rice. Plus I MAXED a bag of Boston Baked Beans candy AND some cookies. OY!! whole wheat pasta found it's way into the mix as well.

my weight fluctuated from like 365 to 360 to 362 to yesterday's 363.8 or .3 . Not sure what it is today.

A problem was I had to hurry up and cook a bunch of meat that I didn't freeze after buying it because I was like, well, do we have room in the freezers and I wanna hurry up and make something with these and blah blah blah. Well, it was a bad move. I've been doing good with making only enough food to last the day it's cooked and maybe the next day for leftovers. Cooking a fresh meal has helped keep me on track.

I also need to not have another bloggin drought. even if I stop in just to say feeling fine...or like crap..or whatever....


welp, the wee one is awake and hugging up on me!! he was just kissing my knee...then huggin my arm, now harrassing my knee again!!!

my turn now?

hello? now that I've finally posted, it's quiet over here. :(

sorry so long gone!

I've just been away from bloggin...not away from eating better though. to prove that

I'M DOOOOOOOOOOOWN 30 POOOOOOOOOOOOUNDS!!!!! it may be a bit more by now because I weighed-in this past Sunday. Today, I'm going to go see District 9. Not sure if I'll even be able to chew any movie popcorn without annoyance and pain though!

why?

Last week I had my WISDOM TEETH PULLED!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH THE HORROR!!! Nothing like hearing the slight crunch of tools and teeth from inside your head! I had to have stitches in one socket because she had to do a bit more surgery. Now I have to wonder if my cut up gum is ever going to heal right! I can only assume the other 3 sockets are healing okay. It's this bottom left side that's my small little hell right now! Not sure how she stitched that up but I won't really know what it's like until it's all healed. hmmm.


So I'm still here, and my sis is okay. I think you misread what Bonnie said. she was calling me sister!

I've just been a bit tired these past couple of weeks. Sorry to keep you all waiting.

I've also made another reservation for me, the boy, and my mom before I return back to work and she starts her real retirement! the boy, the only thing different for him is he's been able to sleep in a bit but he still goes to daycare. This year though, he'll be officially in Pre-School classes with the bigger kids! next year I think is when I'll enroll him in a bigger school.

I'm still breathing!

I'm still alive....I've lagged behind in the blogging area. I'll try to post more tonight or later after church.

taking stock

quick note...I'll probably weigh in tomorrow. I'm ..."empty" but I also ate right before emptying out! yeah, another TMI moment but well...yeah.

I need to write down all of the food I have that really needs to be eaten!! Aside from maybe getting bread for mom and the boy, we REALLY could stand to just slow down our spending!!! I'm gonna have to try and get mom a home business or something to do...maybe she could start making clothes again...even if it's just baby clothes...maybe even baby clothes to donate to drug addicted or abandoned babies in hospitals or in the DCFS system. SOMETHING so she's not at home doing laundry, cleaning, or wanting to spend all of her money because she's retired and doesn't have to wake up anymore to head into work. Plus, it'll help keep her mind sharp I think. Not sure if we need to invest in a surveillance system or not.


Anyway, God is Good that we can afford these groceries...i just do NOT want her blowing through her money now when we really DON'T need to do much shopping right now.
We went to my sister's for a jewelry show this morning and b4 we left ran her by the grocery store. I didn't really think we needed anything yet we left with $40+ worth of stuff. That didn't include my sister's stuff...she paid for her own. So yeah, I really need make as accurate a list as I can so I can start to look at all these cookbooks I have and figure out what I can make that serves 3-4 people and won't be soooooo high in cals and fat!


Okey dokey, I hope everyone of you reading is well and doing great in your quest for a smaller you. Today, I wore a pair of jeans that .....wow, I'm really 20+ pounds lighter; just had to type what I was happily thinking....used to be a little tight. I'm not sure if I'm going to purchase jeans from that store anymore though...they all seem to be low-riding or lay about an inch below the waist line. Plus the crotch area never really comes UP to the crotch and yet the jeans don't stay up. not sure if that's a too small or too big issue or just a "you paid only $18 for these, what do you expect" issue? I really don't understand why you would make a size 30-ANYTHING in low rise or any unflattering cut of clothing in that size or bigger. I don't wanna wear it and I definitely don't wanna see it!!!


okey dokey...

la la la la la la laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

numming on a 80cal, 0 fat Peach yogurt. I've learned that well, I just need to pay a lil extra for this Dannon Light & Fit brand and save 20 calories cuz the portion is 2 oz. smaller...and make up for the smaller amount but higher cost with bigger taste! I'd been getting the cheaper, 8oz. Aldi brand yogurt and after having the Dannon..and then going back to the Aldi brand...I just...I couldn't stay! Luckily Jewel usually has it on sale 10/$5...the sale that ended today was 10/$4...not sure if that's part of their price knock down thing they've been doing recently but I'll take it! grabbed 6 peach and 4 lemon chiffon.


So, without keeping a physical, written journal, I believe I have stayed below 2000 calories since Sunday. Since I've decided to start watching what I eat more closely and preparing 95% of my meals (I add that -%5 because I do sometimes have McDonalds and try to allow for some "spoil the family" with a meal out) I've been naturally staying under 2000 calories. It's somewhere between 400 and 900 more calories when the pounds don't come off...they stay stagnant or increase. I prefer a loss.

I also bought some whole wheat or whole grain bread products that are 100 cals a serving. Still a bit high but some are mini bagels to go with this whipped cream cheese w/honey&nuts that I'll indulge in a couple or so mornings or for a midday snack. The other is a new product...at least I've never seen it before...100 cals for it's like a sandwich bun that's been reduced to two mini-flat breads. one slice alone of this whole wheat (real ww, not white bread with some sprinkles of wheat and caramel coloring) bread I get at Aldi is 100 alone! I realized that last week and had to cut back my turkey burger from 2 slices to 1 slice cut/torn in half. Better option, and it's still a sandwich. And while I had the turkey burger with cheese, I've had lettuce and tomato with it. :D

soooooo, today I had a bowl of red berries Special K and 1/2 c. of skim milk (150), then 3/4 c. brown rice and about 1c. of chicken cacciatore sauce with vegs and about hmmmm, 3 or 4 oz. of chicken breast (est. 300 calories 350 max...could be wrong but the brown rice was only 70 i think and the tomato based "stew" is pretty lean), dinner was 1 1/2 c. collard greens, some rotisserie curry seasoned chicken..about 5 oz., and the fatty bad part was 2 2" pieces of cornbread. (I estimate that at about 450 calories).

It'd been about 5 hours+ since my last meal and I did some grocery shopping x2 before returning home and theeen I was trying to prep dinner. I was super dizzy...which happens to me a lot when I'm low on food and water..go figure. I felt sick, went to potty, didn't feel too much better after lightening my load (ha) so I had to sit again b4 falling out. Finally got the energy to get dinner and nuke it in the microwave. Knew I was gonna go for the greens so I figured...yeah. I want some cornbread

Just had the 80 calorie yogurt so I ESTIMATE (only 2 or 3 items are package info verified) that my total for today is 980...yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah....no good....I need to eat more..at least I know I should have today...Oh wait, I had a boiled egg with that cereal this morning! not much of a big difference though.


sooooo, yeah, need to make sure I'm getting all my food in for the day so I'm not starving my metabolism.


sigh...i need to try and get to sleep before 10:30 because as long as I'm awake, the boy is awake because he still snuggles in my lil bed with me!

Don't judge me...some of y'all got fuc...uuuuh, jacked up living situations too!! LOL!!!

later all.

Be Blessed

that scale is on crack

the scale has me down to 367.2 or some such foolery again. I got outta the shower and just outta morbid curiosity I took it outta the box and stepped on it again.


anyway, not so much worried about that as I am about this lump in my lower cheek outside of my lower jaw. my tooth/teeth have been hurting back there for about a week now. I figured it was just a cavity at it's brink or my wisdom tooth back there acting up. This morning the pain started again and again I assumed it was the bottom teeth....even though sometime last week I thought the pain might be originated at the top....so I touched my cheek to see if it was swollen and pressed and something moved. so i felt around and the lower jaw area is where there's a lil lump. I figure it's an abscess....why do those things love me so??!! I have to have my teeth cleaned and cavities filled anyway but they're probably gonna take those wisdom teeth out too. That's gonna be a bill despite having coverage!!!! And I'm really gonna need to get in to see a dentist fast so all the work can get started before work starts back.


oy.

the math...is F*&&y^ KILLING ME!!!

Okay, so I'm trying to figure out if I wanna do 2000, then 1800 then maybe drop down to a steady 1600 calories a day or just go with 1800 for the duration.

Then I'm trying to figure out which of these formulas I want to use to break down where I'm getting my calories from: the "recommended" 50% carbs, 20% protein, 30% fat or my preferred 45% carbs, 35% protein, 20% fat.

However, with that above system, whichever I chose, neither adds up to what the mypyramid.gov charts for a 2000 cal diet recommends after I've calculated how many calories, grams, then ounces are in each group..namely the protein (meats and beans) and carbs (grains). Plus I don't know how to count my vegetables. I know they have calories I mean, most are under 100 per serving of a whole veg (the leafy greens or nonstarchy vegs) but they still have calories.


Sooooo yeah, I might just go back to this plan I used back in 97 and did well on...see if it's breakdown sort of matches what the usda recommended for either 2000 or 2005 (new charts come out next year). Or I might just go ahead and follow what the usda recommends for the 2000, 1800, and 1600 calorie diets.

Any recommendations? Anyone out there breaking up where their calories are going? Carbs and starchies here, meats and beans here, fat here if any extra other than what's in your lean meats???

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So far today I've had 1c. of special k, one cup of skimmed milk, and one banana. Just had about a cup of wheat elbow macaroni and chicken cacciatore, that had perhaps about 1 1/2 cups of chicken and the rest was like tomato sauce with some pepper and onion slices.
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I MUST be putting too much into this. But I figure, those calculations are out there for a reason....not just to make nutritionist and dietitians some income....hmmm.

if nothing else, it's been interesting to search the net for all this stuff. right now..my brain hurts. and since my son is napping, i probably should too.

a thought...coming to terms a bit....

Okay, so I think I've decided that I'm going to HAVE to journal what I eat and start counting my calories. I've have two weeks with a weight gain of 2-3+ pounds so I'd like to not have a big jump like that happen again. I HATE trying to keep a food journal! I MUST hate it since I've never really kept one more than 2 or 3 weeks! I kept one pretty decent-like when I was doing the Atkins deal. Perhaps I kept that journal then pretty well because I had to keep track of my carbs. I think it was 30 max a day in the Induction stage and I stayed there for the duration of the time I stayed on Atkins. Perhaps keeping track of my calories, the numbers and adding them up, ...maybe treating them like money...will help me stick with the recording?

I don't know why I hate the thought of having to count my calories? Is it because that's so bare bones and it kind of takes away yet another ounce of dietetic freedom I thought I had? Does it mean that I couldn't do it on my own in that area so I HAVE to start counting my calories more strictly and not just eyeball it? Am I lazy or angry or neither or both? Not really sure right now but having gained this past week and not really seeing it com.OOOOOOOOOOH...yeah...I JUST remembered...this past Sunday was our potluck dinner at church service. Second Sunday is the evening building fund service and even though the past couple of Sundays we haven't had the service because the fellowship kinda spilled past the 4pm start time.....we've still had the dinner. I remember that part of the leftover brought home were the rest of the cornbread our deaconess makes...and mom loooooves cornbread so they gave us the rest. I took the rest of the pasta salad that was really veggie heavy (yum) but I think it's gonna have to be tossed out cuz apparently that stuff can turn pretty quick and it's pretty much a week old now and we didn't take any with us to the hotel. Then I made chicken cacciatore Wednesday and whole wheat elbow macaroni to go with it. Plus the lower fat/lower cal dessert I made for Sunday...a lot was leftover so I brought that back and pretty much killed that myself from Sunday to Tuesday.

Welp, mystery solved. I may very well have lost some ounces or a pound the past couple of days but when you're trimming from a blowout gain from earlier in the week the numbers will still be higher. Okay, I know what I did wrong..and once again I need to fight those carb monsters or simmer them down a bit so I can turn the rabid pitbulls into cute lil poodles that I can play with every now and then.

So, even though I did recall what possibly led to this week's gain (and it still may be some sort of good gain, ie, muscle) I'll still try to count and record my calories so I know that if I have that 100 calorie snack pack (which I haven't had since I've started..yay) then that's just 100 calories gone. Oh well. And as much of a better option as they may be, I'm gonna have to say no to the grill chicken snack wraps at mcdonalds...or at least cut it from two to one. Two makes me pretty full, I'm sure one will keep me satisfied with an apple instead of a 2nd one, and some yummy yummy .....water. Can't have that ice filled sweet tea of theirs even though the last two times I've had it it's been on point!

okey dokey, way past bedtime....but does that mean I'm off to sleep....hmmmm


Blessings All.

oooooh vacation

I'm back up to 372.4.....boooooooooooooooooooo...starch is my enemy. okay, not my enemy, i just don't control my intake of it well! So yeah, I need to start measuring my portions, cut down on the bread....i mean, i only had 5 slices this week but....perhaps I had too much cereal? most likely too much pasta..even though it was only eaten 2 days this week (Wednesday and Thursday b4 leaving for the hotel.

We did a lot of calorie burning, at least I did, hauling that heavy duffle bag Thursday and today and the walking at the zoo...even the walking to and from the bus stops.

This is one of those times a food journal would've come in handy quite well. hmmm, well, I'm just trying to get to the 360 then 350 mark so this is a sorta blow to the course. Won't let it set me back horribly though. I WAS wearing my underwear this time on the scale though so....yeah. don't think it made THAT much of a difference!!

I'm okay people...not gonna cry..just a lil confused right now..

OH YEAH, i forgot, it could be muscle weight gain but still a fat loss. I mean, I'm beginning to see some smaller me in the mirror. I mean...us women know ..the "girls" are always the first to go so....at least my bras are fitting again.

meh......well, gonna go reevaluate.

Blessings.